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gunsatthaphan · 3 years ago

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~ Introducing: Monthly BL Breakdown ~

- JUNE 2021 -

hello lovely people! ♥️

Since the bl world is always on the move and it can be difficult to keep up, I thought I’d make a little segment on this blog where I summarize everything that’s going on in the bl universe once a month. Including new shows that aired, upcoming shows, stuff I particularly liked/disliked this month and any kind of news that are worth mentioning (new show announcements, honorable mentions, cancellations, etc...)

I know there are already a ton of update accounts all over the internet but I figured the more the better? 🙈 So here we go! - Updates coming at the end of every month! :)

Also since I probably won’t be able to cover every single detail, feel free to reblog/add a reply with more stuff! ♥️

~ Disclaimer: All shows can be streamed here or here! For more info about the shows, check out their MDL pages! ~

What came out this month? (green tick = seen or currently watching)

🌟2Gether the Movie - June 4th (Japan)

🌟Worth The Wait - June 5th

🌟Lovely Writer Special Ep - June 9th ✅

🌟Gaya Sa Pelikula Special Eps - June 11th

🌟Stuck On You - June 11th

🌟Country Boy - June 15th

🌟Lust Never Lasts - June 15th

🌟Love’s Outlet - June 17th

🌟Hometown’s Embrace - June 18th

🌟Golden Blood - June 23rd ✅

🌟Made in Rooftop - June 23rd

🌟We Best Love: No. 1 For You Special Edition - June 25th ✅

🌟My Boy - June 27th

🌟Love By Fehler - June 27th

🌟Ossan’s Love: Love or Dead - June 28th

🌟Light On Me - June 29th ✅

Monthly likes/dislikes

❣️ Lovely Writer special EP - I was living for the supernatural theme and I loved that they decided to go into a different direction for the final installment of the show. I miss them so much 🥺

❣️ IPYTM - Despite everything I really liked it. I obv hated the story around the breakup but I liked the way it was executed. Jai’s actions were more than questionable but I think he’s a fascinating character and I respect them so much for choosing a path like this.

❣️ Nitiman - Idk why but they all stole my heart lol. Bbomb and Jin are the best and it’s my guilty pleasure of the summer for sure lol.

❣️ FUTS - this show was super chaotic and for the first time I had the aggressive feeling of straight up being too old for this sh*t lmao. Gmmtv really outdid themselves in terms of silliness lol. It took me a while to get into it but I eventually warmed up to it and Mork and Pi grew on me so much! They’re absolutely adorable; especially episode 10 was pure bliss; also the finale was better than I expected!!! It was a fun ride for sure <3

👎🏻 Y-Destiny - This show has been a disappointment. PuthKaeng were a highlight and the MasukTeeJia story is not bad either (also the best one for sure) but the rest was just straight up awful. So many stories were super strange & way too cliché and most of the acting is not good. Which is a shame because the concept of the show is actually not bad; but sadly the execution is very poor.

New show announcements

🎥 Call It What You Want ss2 - coming July 23rd -> official trailer (Thailand)

🎥 The Theory series (starring Dome Woranart, Ken Prarunyu and others) - date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Best Sisters Forever - coming July 2nd on GagaOOLala (Taiwan)

🎥 Rainbow Prince - date TBA (Philippines)

🎥 ฟ้าลั่นรักเดอะซีรีส์ (Fah Lan Rak The Series) - coming 2022 (Thailand)

🎥 Check Out (starring Best Vittawin & Chahub Marut) - coming August 2021 -> first teaser (Thailand)

🎥 Love Stage (starring Kaownah & Turbo) - coming 2021 (Thailand)

🎥 Light - coming August 13th 2021 (Taiwan)

Other news from the bl world

❗️Singto P. and Tae D. will be the leads of a new bl adaption called “Paint With Love”, along with Yoon P., Yacht S. (Pond in LBC), Natty T. (Aim in Nitiman), Gun K. (Green in 2Gether), Maengmum (Yiwha in TWM) and others.

❗️The official poster for The Tuxedo was released - date TBA

❗️2Gether the Movie came out in Japanese movie theaters on June 4th, though so far, Japanese fans are unwilling to spoil anything lol.

❗️The complete soundtrack of 7 songs for the upcoming show 7Project was released. The official air date of the show is still TBA

❗️Kaownah and Turbo will be the leads of the upcoming series Love Stage, the thai adaption of the japanese manga - date TBA.

❗️The official soundtrack for the upcoming second season of CIWYW has been released

❗️Teddy Jen from HIStory 1 got engaged to his boyfriend (which maybe isn’t newsworthy but he made a really cute post about it so I wanted to share 💜)

❗️JOOX Music announced the production of “Fan Krub”, starring Ohm T., Perth T., Tommy S. and others. - date TBA.

Upcoming shows & movies for July

☝🏻Pornographer - July 1st (Japan)

☝🏻Sweet Curse - July 1st (South Korea)

☝🏻Best Sisters Forever - July 2nd (Taiwan)

☝🏻Why Love Why SS2 - July 3rd (Philippines)

☝🏻Don’t Say No Special EP - July 4th (Thailand)

☝🏻Him Will Be His - July 8th (Philippines)

☝🏻Unforgettable Love - July 8th (Philippines)

☝🏻The Best Story - July 9th (Thailand)

☝🏻Love While You Can - July 10th (Philippines)

☝🏻The Yearbook - July 15th (Thailand)

☝🏻Given - July 17th (Japan)

☝🏻Love Area - July 17th (Thailand)

☝🏻Call It What You Want SS2 - July 23rd (Thailand)

☝🏻Lockdown - July 23rd (Philippines)

☝🏻Gameboys: The Movie - July 30th (Philippines)

#doreens monthly bl breakdown #bl dramas #thai bl #update #news #i still cant process that we will see maengmum again dsjkhfsd #this show is gonna be lit yo #also im actually really hyped for CIWYW ss2 #i need more marco and bas in my life #also the best story is already coming out in july which is way sooner than i thought sjdkhsd #also not at me being very intrigued by the check out series jfhkdsd #im just excited to see best again lol #so much stuff coming #help

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starshipsofstarlord · 4 years ago

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‘Tis The Damn Season | Hamish Duke

Warnings; includes angst, implications of smut (not too detailed), breakup, heart ache, sacrifice, pain, and angst again

Based of ‘tis the damn season by Taylor Swift

If I wanted to know who you were hanging with

Whilst I was gone, I would’ve asked you

Belgrave, home. For a while, you had thought that Hamish had served as that shelter, but the brick road broke, splitting the pair of you apart. It was as though the pair of you were ice, thawing over the time that the independent plan had been brewing.

This place, it was to be missed. It was a great step of a risk that you were to be taking, and so was the weighing of your heart. It felt as though it would be difficult to carry, it would remain with you, surely even after you crossed and exited the borders of the town.

Leaving overall, let alone him was to be exceedingly difficult, any attachment had to be released, like a bird from a cage. But birds in cages had routines, they’d be fed, and get affection, but this one wouldn’t. He’d just be abandoned, left to fend for himself.

The man that had been the only dream that had rendered your brain at night placed the guitar into the back of your car. He knew that it, what you had, was ending.

This was the end, and alternately not the one that Hamish had been expecting. If you were leaving university behind you, in the reflection of your rear view mirror, he would be left standing, alone and broken hearted.

It’s the kind of cold, fogs up the windshield glass

But I felt it when I passed you

“Goodbye Hamish.” It felt like a cruel lyric that would be used in a song, a line you’d harmonise on stage.

Getting into the drivers seat, you allowed yourself a first and last glance through the chilled glass, blinking away any tears that threatened to spill.

He was a good man, there were great things ahead of Hamish Duke. But none of that included you, this was his journey now, you had already made the choice of yours.

And this was the price of it, the freezing of your heart; the truest and purest love that you had ever felt. No matter, you had already paid it, and caused pain for both Hamish and yourself.

There’s an ache in you, put there by the ache in me

But if it’s all the same to you

It’s the same to me

Turning the ignition on, you proceeded to drive past everything that you had ever known, all that you had love for.

The smallest distance seared a wrenching ache within your chest. It felt like a punishment for putting yourself first for once, it made you concerned, surely it shouldn’t have.

The car’s slow pace had Hamish biting his lip, containing any of his avid disagreements to this. He understood your priority, respected it even, but none of that made watching you leave any easier.

If anything, it gave him an urge to turn and head to a bar or something of the sort. But he remained, his heart sinking lower as you got further from his line of sight.

It shouldn’t have heart him as much as it did. It was common knowledge that first loves weren’t eternal. Time would only help him accept that cruel fact, or so he thought.

So we could call it even

You could call me “babe” for the weekend

Hamish’s body was under bliss, he had found his solace once more. He fit perfectly upon your nude form, it felt like his soul was rebuilding itself.

But he had to remember that you were only here for the weekend, you’d soon be gone again. And he would fall apart all over, just like the first time.

“Babe.” The blonde moaned, his hands intertwining with yours, he had missed more than just pleasure from your entanglements. He had beyond missed the entirety of your being.

The name that you were keen to lap from the tip of his theoretical tongue was a misplaced comfort. It shouldn’t however have the effect of such comfort, not when the pair of you were claiming to have been trying your hardest to move past what you had once been.

It was an old and tiring routine, that you were prone to returning to. The sinful actions were bad for each of your mental health, but it felt right to argue against it.

The wisest decision would be to forget Hamish, and every notion he inclined you to feel, but it was too difficult, especially when he had you seeing orgasmic stars.

‘Tis the damn season, write this down

I’m staying at my parents’ house

“Aren’t you seeing any old friends from university this Christmas?” The question was poised by your mother, she was far too concerned by the fact that since your arrival you had hardly left the house.

It was even blurred by snow outside, not too much to the point where you’d have to be shovelling it from the porch, but it was enough. It was beautiful, perfect for this time in the season.

In fact, you loved the snow. But the memories that bombarded your mind from the wonderful weather had your mind rolling back to Hamish, specifically how blue his eyes appeared amongst the frosted surroundings.

The thought had you sniffling, holding in a post breakup breakdown from your mother’s eyes. She thought you were sick, demanding that you get something for ‘that runny nose of yours, it could be contagious’.

And the road looks real good now

And it always leads to you and my hometown

The exact second that you entered your car, your hands sternly hit the steering world. Were you not allowed to follow your career through the workings of the world without punishment?

Because it sure felt that way, as though you were being a rebel in a war, however the battlefield was that of your heart. It was tearing slowly, and had been over the entirety of your hopeful escapade.

It cried regularly to be united back with Hamish, to its rightful home. It was suffering from separation anxiety from him, clouding the gaps in your brain and making them think about the tall, handsome man alone.

And the road taken looks real good now

And it always leads to you and my hometown

Every time that you were in your car, it felt like you were leaving home all over again, and Hamish would be standing by, with his upset aura, trying his hardest to keep himself together.

It was the worst feeling, knowing that exiting town was essentially the same as stabbing him in the heart. There was no feeling worse than knowing that you had hurt Hamish, you still felt more than something for him.

Whenever you’d come by of a weekend, which was every couple of months, occasionally each few, you’d take the pill of seeing him. But not too long ago, you’d realised how cruel the self invitation really was.

He had been growing used to life without you, and then you’d reappear, lounging in his bed, only to rip away from him and cause a terrible ache in his heart when you’d return to your performing duties. It was unfair, so you refused this month to allow him to know that you were back, otherwise the painful pattern would only continue, and there’d never be an end to it.

I parked my car between the Methodist

And the school used to be ours

Belgrave university was right beside the pharmacy, it only made you feel actually sick. The memories from the school were returning, there were so many of them, it was as though they were trying to anchor you in the snow as you stepped out of your car.

Almost all of them included Hamish, he was the main attraction of the university anyways. But perhaps you had stood there reminiscing longer than you should have, because it seemed that you had drawn some unwanted attention.

Hamish. He was walking from the entrance, a sombre expression had been held upon his face until he saw you. And then his face was rivalled with hope and confusion, you hadn’t informed him that you were back yet.

He’d already expected you to be returning for the holidays, mostly for your family, however, you hadn’t told him, and from the wideness of your eyes, the realisation kicked into his instinct. You had had no intention to.

But he continued to walk towards you anyways, trying his best not to smile and coo at the adorableness of your red nose.

The holidays linger like bad perfume

You can run, but only so far

The thought of making a leg for it, sprinting as far away as possible, or getting back into your car and steering away certainly crossed your mind.

This interaction was certainly not a miracle of the season, it felt like a curse, ascending from hell itself. You hadn’t wanted to see him, but the universe had interfered and made a collaboration.

I escaped it too, remember how you watched me leave

But if it’s okay with you, it’s okay with me

However every time you came and left, this building confrontation had been avoided, with you packing your suitcase for the umpteenth time, zipping each of your mouths shut and hearing nothing but the sound of the wheels rolling across the concrete of your family’s driveway.

Now, to contradict it all, the pair of you were stood upon even ground, it wasn’t outside of either of your homes, it was strangely the perfect place for this. And you found your dread slightly dissipating, aware that this was always going to happen, the road had just ended.

We could call it even

You could call me “babe” for the weekend

He was confused as to what to say or do. This was the first instance that he had seen you again in a place other than in his sheets, it was overwhelming.

“You haven’t been answering my messages.” His tone was calm, but in it, pain was presented, his sad blue eyes also justified that aspect of his aura. “Here for another weekend?”

It came across as less pleasant than he had anticipated, he was stressed to say the least. Something happened to him, it was out of the ordinary, he had wanted to speak to someone, and the first person that had came to his mind was you.

‘Tis the damn season, write this down

I’m staying at my parents’ house

Wringing your hands at the sound of his voice, it was visible that his presence made you nervous. That wasn’t what he wanted at all, he already scared himself after that sheathing of wolf fur wrapped itself around him and chose him as its vessel. His intent wasn’t to make you mirror his discomfort.

And so he uncrossed his arms, putting them into his trouser pockets and tried to look as relaxed as his exterior could fathom.

“I’m staying with my parents, it’s the holidays and all. Had to come home somewhen.”

And the road not taken looks real good now

Time flies, messy as the mud on your truck tires

But you knew, that it was all to return to him. That was the universe’s plan for you, if you ever tried to get away, it’d only force you to reconnect once again. There was no escape, and a part of you was not complaining about that.

The other however was outrageous, nothing could ever be easy, it all drifted down shore from the plan, the ultimate dream. Using your voice to sing was the goal, however here you were instead, mentally cursing and dragging the name of the planet through the darkness inhabited in your neurons.

Now I’m missing your smile, hear me out

And the road not taken looks real good now

Right now, all you wished was to stay. His smile was inviting you to do, and so you stepped cautiously towards Hamish, hands going to his face and pressing the pads of your fingers to his cold cheeks.

Snow began to fall, but you could care less. It already felt like there was a blizzard forcing to search for shelter, and here it was, in the body of this one man. He was different from the rest, he was your road, the one you wanted to continue on, rather than drive away from.

And it always leads to you and my hometown

Sleep in half the day just for old times’ sake

His eyes shut at the contact, it was far more passionate than the times you had seen him during your occasional visits. Don’t get it mistaken, the sex was great, however it was a coping mechanism, rather than a true example of love.

There had been something missing, at first you assumed that it was the lack of labels between the two of you, however you proved yourself wrong after realising that it was the proximity that the pair of you had once had.

The loyalty, the trust, the knowledge that the two of you had traded. It had always been mutual, and so was this heartache, it wasn’t fair for the pair of you to be apart, yet still suffering from more than the distance.

I won’t ask you to wait if you don’t ask me to stay

So I’ll go back to L.A. and the so-called friends

There was one singular thing that Hamish desired to ask. However it’d be a two way street of cruelness if he allowed it to slip. But if he gave it permission to leave his mouth, then perhaps it would be a different story.

Everything could go back to normal, the way things had been. Except from him of course, he was forever changed, he was the house to a creature so unbelievable, yet proven real, that he could not just dispose of it. That would end in his death if he were to split from this monster within him.

But he would also die if he had to be distanced mentally from you any longer. He took one long stride of his leg, cupping the edges of your face, and clashed the two of your lips against his own. The contact was hungry, needing to swallow any last breaths that could possibly be breathed in each other’s presence.

If he had it his way, he wouldn’t break the unison against you, however he had to, otherwise he would surely have to catch your tired body, not that that would be the worst thing in the world.

“Stay, don’t go again.” It fell, permitting a moment of silence in the air. This required thought, but the answer could be sudden, if it were, then that would be the true response that he was seeking. It would be an instinct to remain here, with him, at your home.

Who’ll write books about me if I ever make it

And wonder about the only soul

It made a sigh tumble from the hollow of your throat, as though you were shocked by his defiance and desire. However you were not, the grand query was to come to pass sometime, it had been eventual, until now.

He had finally ripped the band aid from the soreness upon his beating chest, and done so to your own. He had opened the wound, allowing it to breathe in the surrounding air, making your own hitch as you thought of an appropriate reply.

It wasn’t professional to be so swayed by his proposition, however, what about all that you wanted to accomplish? The career you were pursuing, the town of Belgrave wouldn’t be so kind to permit you the reputation you were seeking.

“I don’t know what to say.” The truth left your lips, the mind that was being stalled by all the possibilities, the two paths that were duelling for your footsteps, was suffering from total confliction. There was no easy answer, either way, you were to be giving something you loved up.

Who can tell which smiles I’m fakin’

And the heart I know I’m breakin’ is my own

“How about yes?” He was desperate to hear it, the confirmation that you would remain with him through the tough time that he was painfully living through. Your absence, albeit how it was completely your choice, did not help the situation.

Hamish needed someone that not only he could rely on and trust, but would help him. Somebody whom could keep him in touch with his human side, and away from the likening to alcohol that he had picked up upon now that he was legal to purchase it himself.

“Okay. I’ll stay for a little, but no promises to it being permanent.” You had been swayed by not only his engorging blue eyes, but also the pain, the pleading that echoed behind them. He was desperate for you to remain with him, and you feared for his mental health if you didn’t compromise.

To leave the warmest bed I’ve ever know

We could call it even

Even though I’m leaving

The pin had dropped, the choice had been made. The sacrifice bled out from your heart, the same red as the sheets that were currently around you. Hamish stared up at the ceiling, his hand softly stroking the skin of your shoulder.

“It’s funny, every time that we spend the weekend together like this, I tell my mum that I’m seeing an old friend from school.” The sound of your voice pursed a smile to Hamish’s face, he huffed a small, almost wolfish laugh.

“That’s kind of the truth, if you think about it.” He pulled you closer, placing a slow yet short kiss upon your lips, to which you reciprocated. This had been the best choice that you could have made, for not only the man nestled in the bed beside you, but also yourself.

And I’ll be yours for the weekend

‘Tis the damn season

We could call it even

It was both a selfish and selfless call that you had taken. One that perhaps one day, you would kick yourself for making, but right now, you held no regret to it. Hamish had been your first love, and fate had it so that he would also be your last.

“My mum would be over the moon to know that I was with you rather than one of the girls that I took bio with.” She had forever been fond of Hamish, even before the two of you had became an item. Even your father had a likening to the young man. The pair would pleased that the two of you were still in communications.

“What are we now?” He asked seriously, he had reeled enough answers from you for one day, however it was another thing that he would have liked to know. He didn’t merely want you to be his only over the weekend, he wanted it to return to the way it all was, before your first departure, he’d ensure that you had already taken your last ticket out of town.

You could call me “babe” for the weekend

‘Tis the damn season, write this down

“Us, I suppose. The equals to one another, as we always were.” His dimples showed at the clarity that you provided. Until he felt a pain in his back, it cracked up through his spine as he felt it begin again.

The dreaded transition, the curse was sparking to life in the worst possible moment. He needed you to be away from him, if he harmed you, then that would surely kill him. He couldn’t have a mark from his own hand upon you, it would be against his will, but the blood would have still been drawn by himself.

I’m staying at my parents’ house

And the road not taken looks real good now

Time flies, messy as the mud on your truck tires

Hamish’s sudden seating in bed had you frowning, your hand caressed his his shoulder, however he snarled at your touch, harshly shrugging you off from him. To say you were worried was an understatement, in the light of the afterglow, he had always been quiet and calm, but this was something you had never witnessed.

If you believed in anything beyond this world, perhaps you’d have suspected he was possessed by something greatly evil and controlling. But they were all tales, fiction and fairy tales that were drawn into illusions and dreams.

“Are you okay?” He wasn’t, and if he didn’t get space from you, then you too would be suffering. And so he spat the only thing that he could think of to get you to spook, to run far away from him.

Now I’m missing your smile, hear me out

We could just ride around

And the road not taken looks real good now

“I’ve changed my mind. Leave!” It was as though he roared the words at you, and he had you in a haste to scramble for your clothes and leave his room. This wasn’t supposed to happen, none of it. But he knew that he had been too greedy, he couldn’t be alive with this horrible circumstance that was inside of him and have you.

It may not have been fair, but it was the safest route. In the end, he had figured it out, you couldn’t help him with this. He didn’t want to tell you, he didn’t want you to know that he was a monster.

You never believed in the supernatural anyways, and that was now for the best. It would make you safer, and more importantly, have faith that he was just a jerk, not some killer that hunted under the full moon.

And it always leads to you and my hometown

It always leads to you and my hometown

You had escaped from your hometown. But Hamish would always draw you back, one way or another...

#hamish duke imagine #hamish duke oneshot #hamish duke x reader #hamishxreader #hamish imagine #hamish duke #the order x reader #theorder x reader #the order oneshot #The Order #thomas elms #netflixtheorder #theorderfanfic #netflixxreader #the order netflix #imagine #imagines #xreader

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swiftgronmasterpost · 4 years ago

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Winter 2013 - The Beginning of the End and Dianna’s Private Tumblr

January 4, 2013 - Haylor Breakup

Taylor and Harry publicly split and leave us with this iconic picture:

January 10, 2013 - People’s Choice Awards

Haylor is done, Harry is back in the UK, but Taylor shows up with a hickey anyway. (Dianna is in LA at this time.)

Some time this month Taylor writes How You Get The Girl which is about obviously someone who comes back to get the girl. She references “standing in the rain” and “a long six months.” It’s hard to know if these details are more “fanfic” or actual autobiographical details.

This six months may actually refer to the end of bearding for a while (because it seems like Swiftgron did reunite in Paris in early October.) Exactly six months after Taylor started dating Conor Kennedy would be January 25th, 2013.

As for the rain...

It rained twice in LA this month according to weather reports on the 21st and on the 23rd:

Dianna is in LA at this point and has started a private Tumblr blog under the name whosirmesir (we verified it was hers over on @swiftgron-get-married - and you can click here for more on that if you’re curious and actually I did an entire podcast episode walking people through it if you’re like like to listen to an in depth breakdown of it click here for apple OR click here for spotify OR click here for google.

I also recommend searching the whosirmesir tag on @swiftgron-get-married because we’ve logged a lot of interesting moments and connections to Taylor (quotes, art, and other items that tie DIanna and Taylor together.)

On the private tumblr on January 25th Dianna reblogs this:

It reads “i think we’re just gonna have to be secretly in love with each other and leave it at that...”

This is also the time period it is rumored that Dianna proposed to Taylor. I’m not sure what to make of these rumors. I have not been able to get anywhere near confirming them. It’s entirely unsubstantiated - but I explored the rumor further in this blog post (click for link.) And also on the podcast (will link just a bit down in this post because it relates to something else we’re about to discuss.)

February 4, 2013 - Dianna recommends “Far Nearer” by Jaime on twitter:

The lyrics are essentially:

“I feel better when I, you feel better when I I feel better when I have you near me

You Me You I do, I do, I do“

repeated over and over again

February 9, 2013 - Neruda quote on Tumblr from Dianna

Dianna posts a quote to Tumblr. The translation is, “I love you as certain dark things are loved, secretly, between the shadow and the soul.”

It’s worth noting that Taylor namechecked Neruda in the Red album booklet.

February 10, 2013 - The Grammys

Dianna wants to make sure everyone is watching:

And Taylor posts:

“Look what happened! :)”

She won for Safe and Sound:

And she performs her circus themed rendition of WANEGBT (where she mocks Harry Styles on stage making fun of his accent when she sings the “so he calls me up on the phone” part of the song even though this song was written before she was even with him.)

The only other time Dianna tweeted about the Grammys was when Glee was involved the year before.

February 14, 2013 - Achele breakfast and The Inside Source at Glee Tweet

According to a Facebook user Cory, Dianna, and Lea have breakfast this morning (or around this time):

Later that day Taylor posts the infamous tweet:

The Glee Episode “I Do” airs and there is no Taylor song included. However Dianna and Naya’s characters hook up:

After the episode airs Taylor deletes her tweet.

As always I’m not entirely sure what to make of this but to me it boils down to three possibilities:

1. The fandom seems to think this proves that Dianna purposefully tricked Taylor into watching her “hook up” with Naya on screen. It’s completely possible that that’s the case but I think the next two options make a bit more sense.

2. It was a simple misunderstanding or a joke gone wrong. Taylor had a song earlier on that season of glee (Mine sung as a breakup song by Naya) and I have been told another song of Taylor’s was marketed for another glee episode later that spring. Perhaps someone got their wires crossed and misinformed Taylor.

3. Other nefarious parties:

a. It’s possible that Lea was behind this - she publicly had beef with Taylor at one point and she had been with Dianna that morning. Maybe she met up with DIanna, heard about Swiftgron being happy and back together and got a little jealous and decided to prank Taylor.

b. Ryan Murphy also seemed to despise both Dianna and Taylor around this time. He was also famous for stirring up drama with Gleeks on twitter and generally sewing discontent (particularly surrounding wlw ships and fans). Ryan seems to have a problem with women/lesbians in general. He treated Brittana as a couple horribly on Glee as well as their shippers.

He very publicly shaded Taylor in season one of Scream Queens and said in an interview that Dianna ruined Quinn for him because he said she made her sympathetic.

Not only that but in season 3 he destroyed her character - he made her have a mental breakdown - he had her try and steal a baby - he had her get hit by a car - and a huge plotline in season 3 was Quinn begging Rachel (Lea’s character so Dianna’s irl ex) not to marry Finn (played by Cory - literally the guy Lea chose Dianna over - this is like...emotionally abusive if you ask me.) After season 3 Dianna only appeared in 8 episodes of the remaining 55 after being in every episode and the top third billed of the cast in the first three seasons.

Furthermore in a show called The New Normal there was a bitchy actress character named Brynn who he wrote as high maintenance and unpleasant and then killed off.

So yeah...seems fair to at least consider that Ryan or Lea who publicly had problems with both Taylor and Dianna may have been trying to create problems for Swiftgron. One last note about Lea - there was not a single Achele interaction for the entire year of 2013. The most we got was Dianna liking a tweet about Lea’s album in December 2013 and when asked about one another in interviews they would vaguely say they were still friends. No tweets to one another, no birthday messages, no candids, no hang outs. Lea’s book was also written around this time and does not make a single mention of Dianna - her former roommate and “best friend” even though she spends plenty of time talking about others on the Glee cast.

I did a podcast episode on both the proposal rumors and the inside source at Glee tweet if you want more extensive takes on that!

While I’m not entirely sure Dianna had anything to do with this tweet Taylor references this date (2-14-13) by putting it on a dollar bill as a serial number in The Man music video:

At any rate Taylor deletes the tweet and replaces it with one about her dancers:

Dianna tweets 9 hearts that day (I don’t know if that’s significant but if they were together from March 2012 to July 2012 and then October 2012 to this point it would mean 9 months together...)

February 19, 2013 - Sad Charlie Brown Tumblr post from Dianna:

February 27, 2013 - Fitzgerald quote

Taylor listed this as a quote to live by in an interview with Marie Claire a few months later.

I’m not sure if it’s important but Dianna is very quiet this winter and spring in terms of showing up at events, parties, even being papped out on the street compared to other years around this time. She seems to disappear a bit.

February 27, 2013 - Taylor gives a bday shoutout to her Fiddle player Caitlin:

“Happy Birthday to my magical friend, fiddle extraordinaire @/caitlinbird”

March 12, 2013 - Weird tweets from Dianna “One of those days.”

March 13, 2013 - It’s the first day of the Red tour (is that why Dianna had questions?)

About the Red Tour - the last act of the tour seems to be circus themed which may have been inspired by Dianna’s 26th birthday the previous year and really interestingly Taylor has a white rabbit, which is a reference to Alice in Wonderland (Dianna’s favorite piece of media ever) follows Taylor around stage during the WANEGBT performance as she’s dressed up like a circus ringleader:

March 18, 2013 - Dianna goes on a Girls HBO rant (we know who also loved Girls the show and its creator Lena Dunham (Taylor))

End of March - Lena and Ashley show up at the Red Tour backstage

Conclusion - Swiftgron is on but completely underground. Dianna is blogging and tweeting romantic things about missing girls, Taylor’s interests, and secret love, all while watching Taylor perform at the Grammys and encouraging others to tune in. Something weird happened with the inside source at Glee tweet but who knows what. Dianna seems a bit restless and emo while Taylor leaves to go on tour.

Click here to keep reading!

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tedturneriscrazy · 3 years ago

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While I'm making posts about children's cartoons that could get me hashtag-canceled, I might as well talk about my strange relationship with Amphibia.

Gonna put this under a cut because I have no idea how long it'll be, and people might not like that I have less than complimentary things to say, particularly about True Colors (spoiler: I may be the one person on the planet who thought that episode was Actually Bad, or at the very least just Didn't Like It):

I'm in this really weird headspace where, while watching the show, I'm genuinely enjoying myself. I laugh at the jokes, I feel the warm fuzzy moments, and I even allow my heartstrings to be tugged when appropriate. Then after I watch it it leaves basically no lingering impression. I'm not compelled to think about any episodes or moments, and I just have no strong feelings overall.

There's exactly one moment that has actually stuck with me, which is when Sasha lets go of Anne's hand at Toad Tower, and 70% of that might be the use of the song (which was, admittedly, perfect). The way Sasha briefly acknowledges her toxicity, the way she frames letting go as doing it for Anne's own good while also having that somewhat spiteful undertone, and Anne's breakdown afterward; all of this is truly 10/10 material.

I should also mention that the opening and ending themes slap. I actually like Amphibia's opening theme better than The Owl House's. Like, a lot better. And both versions of the ending theme so far are on par with TOH's, as well. (Did not care for season 3's version of the opening. Glad they took one of the few things I unequivocally liked about the show and made it worse, weee)

However, I had two realizations about the show that made it clear that I don't genuinely love it or possibly even like it.

One was that, after thinking about it, I realized that I don't have a favorite character. One day, on a lark, I tried to think of who my favorite was, and came up blank. It turns out, despite what I described above, I don't actually have an emotional attachment to any of the characters. This is generally not a good sign.

The other realization is that I genuinely did not like True Colors, aka season 2 finale, aka the one everyone praises as the best episode.

For me, it highlighted all the weaknesses of the show as a whole, and it made it slightly worse for me overall. I know how people talk about how well done the worldbuilding and character development were, and that wasn't really apparent to me. I'm not saying that isn't the case from a technical/creative standpoint, but for me, emotionally, it just didn't add up. The whole fell short of the sum of its parts. I've heard complaints about how most of the episodes don't really follow an overarching plotline, and that might be part of the problem. The show presents itself as having this big epic story, but you watch the actual episodes and many, if not most, are self-contained, adventure-of-the-week episodes (I've also seen "filler" tossed around, and while I wouldn't necessarily use that word myself, I won't disagree).

And then you get Andrias is suddenly gonna take over the multiverse, and it's just...ehhh...These kind of stakes didn't really feel built up to all that much.

Really, though, I think the moment the show lost me was when Anne went Super Saiyan Blue and expected me to take it seriously. And I just couldn't. Blatantly aping Dragonball Super is not an effective way to get me to buy the drama of a situation.

I suppose I should mention that Marcy being stabbed was spoiled for me almost immediately, but I honestly felt no impact from that. I just didn't form the attachment to her the rest of the fandom did, but it's less a problem with Marcy in particular as it is with all of the characters overall.

(At least I kinda get why Marcy is so adored, unlike with Hunter from TOH)

So yeah, I want to like Amphibia. I want to love it. I really do. But I just can't, and I'm actually kind of sad about that.

I recognize how well made it is, I know the crew worked hard to put it together, and I realize it's enjoyed by so many people, including the vast majority of the TOH fandom (and Dana!). But I just don't click with it. I suppose there's nothing wrong with that, but it's just one of those few things where I don't like something and feel bad about not liking it.

#amphibia #analysis #amphibia analysis #opinion

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itsthenovelteafactor · 4 years ago

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Vanya and the Phantom

I asked and y’all answered (special thanks to @schizoidwire and @the-aro-ace-arrow-ace and all the people who responded to my earlier post for encouraging me!), so it is time for how The Phantom of the Opera song introduction can be read as a look into Vanya’s self-narrative and also foreshadows future events in a really subtle and interesting way.

I’m channeling my inner Elliot and going into full conspiracy mode. This is gonna be a long one, y’all.

Part One: In Which I Expose Myself as a Former Theater Kid

So, for those who aren’t familiar with The Phantom of the Opera, it was originally a novel by French writer Gaston Leroux back in 1909. In 1986, Andrew Lloyd Webber rewrote it as a musical. For purposes of my analysis here, I am just going to be discussing the musical because 1) the score used in the opening scene is from it and 2) I’ve never read the book. (If anyone out there has read the book and wants to weigh in, please do!)

It’s a very aesthetic show, and draws on a lot of gothic themes and imagery. The plot follows an opera house, and specifically a young chorus girl named Christine Daaé. I’m not going to explain the whole show plot in detail because wikipedia exists, but I will do a quick overview here and point out some things as they relate to things I’ll be discussing later. Also there will be a test after and it will NOT be multiple choice.

The show begins when the opera house is sold to new owners who 1) just want to make money and 2) do not respect the opera house’s resident ghost (who isn’t really a ghost, but we’ll get to that later.) When the Phantom makes his presence known, and freaks out the resident prima donna singer (who will be relevant later) Carlotta, who says she won’t sing under these conditions. It is then that Christine appears. She’s quiet and humble and has always lived in the background, but is incredibly talented. The woman who runs the chorus (also owner of the opera house’s resident braincell) suggests Christine sing the part. She does, and is amazing. Everyone is blown away, and she’s catapulted into instant fame and success.

We later learn that Christine has been studying under the Phantom, who appears to her in mirrors. She calls him the Angel of Music, and thinks that he was sent to teach her by her recently deceased father. He isn’t. He’s actually pretty malicious, and is obsessed with Christine, wants to control her voice, and doesn’t like her dating anyone. Which is a bit awkward when her childhood friend shows up and promptly falls in love with her.

Anyways, Carlotta is jealous of the attention Christine has been getting and threatens to leave prompting the new owners to cut Christine from the program. The Phantom doesn’t like it at all, sends a bunch of letters, things escalate, people are murdered, and the whole first act ends with the chandelier falling from the ceiling and crashing onto the stage (which is done with really cool effects, oftentimes beginning the show hanging over the audience. It’s a BIG MOMENT and one of the most iconic ones from the show. This will also be relevant later.)

Act two takes place a few months later, wherein no one has seen the Phantom. Shock of all shocks, though, he’s not dead. He’s been writing an opera and he wants Christine to star in it. More stuff happens, you learn the backstory of the Phantom (which is pretty sad, ngl, but in no way makes him less of a creep) and the story ends with the Phantom kidnapping Christine and giving her an ultimatum: stay with him forever, or he kills Raoul (aka childhood friend/romantic interest guy). She agrees to stay with him and he’s so moved by her compassion that he lets them both go and disappears forever.

Part Two: Casting the Characters

That’s interesting, Rosie (note sarcasm) but you said this was about The Umbrella Academy? I did, in fact. So, we meet Vanya when she’s playing a medley of songs from The Phantom of the Opera. Since it’s primarily the melodies and not one of the orchestral pieces from her performance later (I don’t think), we can assume she’s just playing it for herself (which is nice! good on you, Vanya).

Maybe she’s never seen the play and just likes the score, but for purposes here, let’s assume she’s familiar with it.

You can tell a lot about a person by the stories they connect with (for example, I like TUA because I like fun sibling dynamics, found family, music, and being sad). And I think that it makes sense that The Phantom of the Opera would be a story that resonates with Vanya. The overlooked chorus girl finds power in music, and, after years in the background, is finally given a chance to show how special she is.

So, yeah. I don’t think it’s outside the realm of possibility that Vanya sees herself as Christine. There are some discrepancies, sure, but this is Vanya’s self-narrative, which we learn pretty much immediately is unreliable. (Love her, but it’s true.) And if Vanya is Christine, then we can try and tap into her perspective to look at some other characters.

Anyways remember Carlotta (the prima donna opera singer who always got the spotlight and tried to destroy everything good that happened to Christine because she felt threatened that someone might be as good/better than her whose entire personality and role in the story I just summarized, rendering my plot recap useless)? Carlotta is how Vanya views Allison. (Kind of all her siblings, but her relationship with Allison is the most important here.)

Think about the scene in the cabin?

“You couldn’t risk me threatening your place in the house! You couldn’t handle the fact that Dad might find me special!” - Vanya, having a mental breakdown.

This always struck me as an interesting accusation to throw, since prior to this moment, I don’t think there was any indication that Allison had ever felt threatened by Vanya. She excluded her, sure, and wasn’t super friendly at times, but the idea that Allison has been pulling strings to keep Vanya out of her spotlight is new. But that is exactly the role Carlotta plays in Phantom.

Fun fact! At one point in the musical, the Phantom enchants Carlotta so that she loses her voice right before coming on stage.

Part Three: The Phantom of the Opera is there

So based on everything I’ve said so far, the most straightforward reading is then, that Leonard Peabody/Harold Jenkins (who for purposes here I’ll call Leonard) is the stand in for the Phantom, which works... really well. Both in helping to understand Vanya and also because it foreshadows the twist of season one in a really cool way.

So, the Phantom appears to Christine first not as an enemy, but as a friend and teacher, who encourages her to be more confident in her abilities. He trains her to develop her singing ability. While the teacher-student dynamic is actually inverted initially with Vanya and Leonard, from the get go, he is showering her with compliments, encouraging her to be confident in her abilities, and, at least on the surface, supporting her in a way she hasn’t been supported before (he’s a trash human but an expert manipulator).

But, in the play, the Phantom is also very possessive over Christine and her power (er, I mean voice). He also is perfectly willing to kill and/or hurt people who he views as standing in the way of Christine and her success (see the aforementioned Carlotta incident). Which is exactly what Leonard does to Vanya. He kills the first chair violinist to help her get it, and orchestrates a whole master plan to get her to reveal her powers on his terms.

Even the part where he starts “training” her to use her powers kind of resembles the second act of the play. The Phantom wrote a play for Christine and she’s going to star in it, whether she wants to or not.

(One could even make the argument of the parallels between Christine believing the Phantom was sent by her father to teach her and Leonard showing up because of his revenge scheme against Vanya’s father, but I honestly don’t have much support for that.)

Part Three: Two Conflicting Narratives

So, as you might’ve noticed, I sort of have two different threads of analysis going on right now. 1) The Phantom of the Opera parallel is part of Vanya’s self-narrative and in it she mischaracterizes Allison, making her more suspicious of her motivations and 2) Leonard Peabody is clearly the Phantom and doesn’t bother being subtle about it. I hope that I’ve been convincing (or at least intriguing) for you to get to this point, because here is where they come together.

Vanya has this parallel going, but she doesn’t see Leonard as the Phantom. In the beginning at least, he’s her Raoul. If I had to guess, I’d say Reginald Hargreeves is the Phantom in Vanya’s self-narrative (says he’ll train her but wants to manipulate her and keep her locked away for himself, strict teacher who doesn’t really care about her well being, wearing a mask to appear more normal/human... she wouldn’t exactly be wrong). Leonard, on the other hand, is Vanya’s supporter. He validates her, and believes in her, and taker her side when Carlotta and the opera house owners (er, the rest of the Hargreeves children) gang up on her and conspire to keep her out.

This is all building to, of course, the final confrontation. The Phantom says Christine has to pick one or the other. When Allison comes to talk to Vanya, Vanya feels as if she’s been given an ultimatum and lashes out.

And that’s where everything (including this parallel) starts to crumble.

(I honestly don’t know a lot about the other characters and how they fit in. I suppose we could have Five = Raoul if we ignore romance plot and focus on the childhood friend that hasn’t been seen in a while angle? And maybe also Pogo = Madame Giry. Vanya doesn’t really have any friends to be Meg.)

Part Four: It’s All About the Moon

So that is kind of the gist of The Phantom of the Opera as a window into Vanya’s self-narrative theory, but there are a couple of other loosely related ideas I thought I might as well bring up since this thing is already ridiculously long.

Remember how I mentioned the chandelier is like, THE scene from The Phantom of the Opera back in part one, and said it’d be relevant later? Bringing that back now, because I’m going to pull a Luther and connect everything to the moon.

So, to get the obvious out of the way, the moon exploding and the chandelier coming crashing to the stage are similar because something falls, breaks into a bunch of pieces, destroys a bunch of stuff, and creates a powerful and memorable image to close off before an act/season break (the next installment of which begins with a time jump).

Additionally, it’s worth mentioning that The Phantom of the Opera is told out of order. The opening scene shows a grown up Raoul at an auction for the items left behind after the opera house closes, and it switches to the past as the remains of the chandelier rise upwards to the ceiling, Phantom’s theme swelling (it’s a really cool moment, tbh). Following the prologue of The Umbrella Academy, we switch to the present with two images: Vanya alone on the stage, and then Luther alone on the moon. Which has a kind of symmetry that might mean nothing, but is still kind of cool.

(Also the item that Raoul buys from the auction is a music box with a monkey crashing symbols on top of it. Which might mean nothing.)

Part Five: How is she STILL talking about this? (AKA Conclusion)

To be honest, this is more a very tangled “things I noticed and thought were interesting” discussion than a formal essay with any clear thesis. While there is a chance that this was all coincidental and I’ve gone full Pepe Sylvia, the music selection in The Umbrella Academy is one of the things that they seem to be really deliberate about.

I would love to chat with anyone about this theory, so feel free to reach out in the notes or message me! My inbox is always open. Much love, and thank you for reading, if you got this far! ❤️

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canonicallysoulmates · 4 years ago

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Hey! You can feel free to ignore this since it is a big ask but. As someone who dropped off the show by s8 and doesn’t really care about following the big plot points, can you recommend to me all the good Sam & Dean episodes that have happened since? (Not just angst or drama even, even just episodes with funny little moments or details?) I am like, solely here for these two being codependent and soulmates and not much else. <3 (Sidenote: thank you for your tagging system!)

Hi! Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply to this; as you yourself said this was a big ask, lots of episodes to go through and remember but hopefully you’re still interested in my answer.

Now the following are not every episode where there’s a brother moment for example the s8 premiere had a great brother hug where the boys reunite, episode 3 of that same season drew parallels between the boys and a couple, if I remember correctly, but those episodes are not included on the list because I didn’t just wanna recommend every single epi that had a brother scene just because it had a brother scene. I took into consideration if it had moments, what they were, enjoyability of the episode and if the moment or moments were big enough to make a bad episode worth recommending, I don’t wanna recommend something to you without thought and have you spend an hour of your life just to see and enjoy a flash in the pan moment you can enjoy just as much or more through gifs and clips.

In complete transparency I will also add that I did this mostly from memory so there is the chance that an episode with good moments slipped through the cracks and for that I apologize.

I don’t know at what point of s8 you stopped watching or if you stopped before the season so I am starting this with s8.

Season 8

Episode 4: Bitten. This epi doesn’t have a ton of moments or even a big one but it does have two students saying Sam and Dean give off workplace-romance vibes, and I’m a sucker for the boys being compared to or thought of as a couple.

Episode 10: Torn and Frayed. Not gonna lie, not the biggest fan of this episode, but it does have the brothers choosing each other over Benny and Amelia so….

Episode 11: LARP and the Real Girl. I said it before in another post that to me this is the turning point of the season for the better, and it has the boys having fun.

Episode 12: As Time Goes By. I wouldn’t call this one a Sam and Dean episode as in SamandDean packed with brother moments but we and the boys get to learn more about their legacy as Winchesters so if that’s something you’re interested in...

Episode 14: Trial and Error. This one has emotional brother moments with Dean wanting Sam to be safe and have a normal life and Sam asking Dean to believe in him, and praising him.

Episode 17: Goodbye Stranger. To be honest, I don’t remember if this epi has other brother moments but I am solely recommending it because this is the one where Dean learns the trials are making Sam sick and at the end there’s a scene where he tells Sam to let him help carry the burden.

Episode 19: Taxi driver. Great epi filled with protective!Dean, he kills Benny to save Sam, a beautiful brother hug.

Episode 20: Pac man fever. They argue like a married couple and Dean’s fear is shown to be losing Sam.

Episode 21: The Great Escapist. Pretty much the whole episode has little moments of Dean taking care of Sam.

Episode 23: Sacrifice. “Don’t you dare think that there is anything past or present that I would put in front of you!” This is the ‘if you watch nothing else from this season’ episode to watch. If you watch nothing else from the s8 sections of recommendations, watch this one, it has one of the best, most emotional Sam and Dean moments in the show’s history.

Season 9

Episode 1: I think I’m Gonna Like It Here. “I made you a promise in that church. You and me, come whatever.” “There ain’t no me if there ain’t no you.” I live for the codependency and for these two going to extremes to save the other including tricking into letting an angel possess the other’s body, and I refuse to apologize for it.

Episode 5: Dog Dean Afternoon. Okay, I’ll admit this one definitely falls more under the fun episode type but it does have Dean being all worried about Sam, clutching to him and threatening to lick his face if he doesn’t wake up.

Episode 7: Bad Boys. We learn more about young!Dean and see him choosing Sam over having a normal life.

Episode 15: #THINMAN. This one is an angsty one and not just because it’s the last time we see the Ghostfacers, this takes place after everything goes to shit in the boys relationship with Sam finding out about Dean’s betrayal and it contains parallels to what Ed and Harry are going through in their relationship, a protective worried Sam over Dean possibly being killed (which let me tell you is delicious to witness after all the angst and Sam acting like he doesn’t care about Dean anymore), and a bittersweet moment of the boys reminiscing about their past.

Episode 16: Blade Runners. This one is being recommended because it has some protective!Dean and because Sam being Dean’s Colette bringing him out of his MOC induced rage.

Episode 23: Do You Believe in Miracles?. The “I’m proud of us” moment, need I say more.

Season 10

Episode 1: Black.

Episode 2: Reinbach.

Episode 3: Soul Survivor. These three episodes are all being recommended for the exact same reason they have demon!Dean, and Sam going crazy trying to save him/find him. Plus, Soul Survivor has demon!Dean following Sam around the bunker.

Episode 4: Paper Moon. It has a flashback showing us just how far Sam was willing to go to get Dean back plus some emotional conversations between the boys.

Episode 5: Fan Fiction. I know people who like this episode. I know people who hate this episode. Personally, I think it has its good parts, it has some brother moments and some nods to wincest.

Episode 12: About A Boy. This one also falls more into the category of fun episode with Dean being turned into a teen, but it also has some good brother moments.

Episode 14: The Executioner’s Song. The fight scene between Dean and Cain was amazing and it has Dean collapsing into Sam’s arms.

Episode 18: Book of the Damned. Love this episode, this epi is probs the best example as to what I enjoyed the most about s10; usually we see Dean being codependent and going to extremes to save Sam but during this season we see the opposite and this episode really highlights that with Sam telling Dean he can’t lose him, telling Charlie he understands hunting is his life but he can’t do it without his brother, going behind Dean’s back and seeking help from Rowena to try and save him.

Episode 19: The Werther Project. More Sam being desperate to save Dean, protective!Dean, and Dean saying he and Sam are stronger together than apart.

Episode 23: Brother’s Keeper. Sam and Dean literally choose each other over the world and Dean kills Death over Sam.

Season 11

Episode 4: Baby. One of the best episodes, just our boys, the open road and all told from Baby’s POV. A must watch in my book.

Episode 8: Just My Imagination. The last flashback episode we ever got - *hits 15.16 with a shovel* like I said last flashback episode we got; it’s fun, has good Sam and Dean moments, we learn more young!Sam, Sam gets some love and praise, the boys wore cozy sweaters, good epi.

Episode 10: The Devil in the Details. It has protective!Dean and Lucifer point out to Sam that he and Dean have chosen each other time and time again because they can’t stand to lose one another. What can I say, I like when the codependency is brought up.

Episode 11: Into the Mystic. Here’s the thing with this episode, I have become sort of embittered towards it due this being the introduction of a character with whom there is an attempted romance in s15 which I heavily dislike but I can’t deny that before that I really did like it, it has some good brother moments and it has Dean telling Sam he forgave him for not looking for him in Purgatory which is major.

Episode 15: Beyond the Mat. Another epi on the fun list, mostly being recommended because it has the boys having fun and that’s something we rarely get to see.

Episode 16: Safe House. Protective!Worried about Dean!Sam!

Episode 17: Red Meat. What can I say about this iconic episode? It's one of the best episodes in the series, absolutely soul crushing, codependency times 1,000. Have tissues with you when you watch it because you will sob your heart out. They turned Sam and Dean into Romeo and Juliet but better.

Episode 20: Don’t Call Me Shurley. Regardless of what a certain showrunner ended up doing to the character I do still love this episode and it has some great Sam and Dean content with Dean preferring to possibly die with Sam, telling him he’d never leave him and the return of the Samulet.

Episode 23: Alpha and Omega. Emotional brother hug, Dean saying he and Sam need each other.

Season 12

Episode 5: The One You’ve Been Waiting For. I’m gonna be honest, I don’t remember much of this episode other than I enjoyed it and that it had some fun moments between the boys.

Episode 9: First Blood. I’m truly only recommending this because it had, Badass!Winchesters.

Episode 10: Lilly Sunder Has Some Regrets. Funny thing about this episode was it was supposed to be all about C but it ended up being enjoyable and filled with little Sam and Dean moments including some protective!Sam.

Episode 11: Regarding Dean. Jensen’s acting in this episode is next level, and it is filled with little brother moments.

Episode 18: The Memory Remains. The only reason I am recommending this one is because it’s the one where the boys carve their initials on the table which was a major moment.

Season 13

Episode 8: The Scorpion and the Frog. Another fun episode that’s filled with little Sam and Dean moments.

Episode 11: Breakdown. For so long I talked about Dean being Sam’s knight in shining armor it’d be wrong for me to not bring up the episode where it happened. Also, Dean tells Sam he’s there for him.

Episode 12: Various and Sundry Villains. It had some fun brother moments.

Season 14

Episode 4: Mint Condition. Fun Hallooween episode with fun, little moments. Absolutely loved this one.

Episode 11: Damaged Goods. This isn’t really a Sam and Dean episode, or at least I don’t consider it one but the ending scene between the brothers where Dean tells Sam he’s the only one that could have changed his mind about throwing himself into the box was beautiful.

Episode 12: Prophet and the Loss. The brother hug to end all brother hugs. Absolutely amazing episode, packed with brother moments including what’s probably the best brother hug, will sing its praises till I die and then I’ll continue singing them in the afterlife.

Episode 13: Lebanon. The 300th episode. It has some moments between the boys as well as some touching scenes of the boys with their dad.

Season 15

Episode 4: Atomic Monsters. Is this partially on the recommended pile because Jensen directed it? Yes but nonetheless it’s a pretty good epi that while not super packed with brother moments does have them. (Also, this is the last season and I’m sad to report we are scraping the bottom of the barrel trying to find Sam and Dean content in this dessert.)

Episode 11: The Gamblers. Good brother moments and the boys get called heroes which I love.

Episode 13: Destiny’s Child. The sole reason I am recommending this episode is for AU!Sam and Dean, they are the funnest thing this show has done in a while.

Episode 14: Last Holiday. While this doesn’t really have Sam and Dean moments with the exception of Sam telling Dean he should have called him to let him know he was in trouble, it does have the boys being taken care of and getting to have some fun and that’s something we so rarely get to see that I am including it.

Like I said, this is not a definitive list of every single episode that has Sam and Dean moments there’s episodes like the most recent one, 15.17, that had a beautiful moment between the brothers but I didn’t list the epi here cause I don’t think it’s necessary to watch the whole episode for it when it can be seen and enjoyed just as much by watching it through a clip. Which while I don’t recommend the whole ep I do highly recommend looking up the end and seeing the brother moment; point is, similar to 8.01 or 15.17 there were other episodes that had moments that weren’t included due to seeing the whole epi not being necessary to enjoy the moment.

#i didn't wanna just recommend without thought so this took a long time #and i put a lot of work into it #ask #sam and dean #spn related #emblian

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doomedandstoned · 4 years ago

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Spelljammer Reveal Trippy New Vid, Talk ‘Abyssal Trip’

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

Interview by Billy Goate

Cover Art by Aaron Cahill

Our week of big interviews continues as we meet up with the ethereal doom outfit from Stockholm SPELLJAMMER and premiere a new music video, from their just released second LP, dropped only weeks ago on RidingEasy Records and now the number one album on the Doom Charts.

'Abyssal Trip' (2021) is an enthralling listen from edge to center, with lavish textures, deep thematic content, and unforgettably emotive atmosphere that will stick with you for life. Enjoy it as you read the revealing conversation with Niklas Olsson (guitar, vox) and Robert Sörling (guitar) that follows as we unpack their steller new spin, talk nerdy gear shit, and contemplate humanity's fate.

And now, Doomed & Stoned is pleased to bring you the world premiere of the brand new video for that epic third track, "Among The Holy."

Give ear...

Spelljammer - Among The Holy (music video)

You guys have been a band now for damn near 15 years, maybe longer. Most bands don't make it past two years! What is the "key" to the band staying together for so long and continuing to find inspiration for creating new music?

Rob: I don’t think it’s been 15 years just yet but we are getting there, haha. None the less - that’s a really interesting question! Nik and I started the band much because we share the same taste in music, film and, well, art in general. I think that's the core keeping it all together. Also, there have been a few constellations of band members over the years, all with their own dynamic. I think these kinds of changes, and the new directions of the music because of that, is part of the inspiration. Maybe another reason is that we all live in different cities and because of that sometimes a lot of time passes between rehearsals, writing sessions and such, making us always craving for new Spelljammer jams and songs.

Nik: The craving yes. And another reason I think is the fact that we’ve never really been in a rush to get anywhere. Anything Spelljammer, the music included, takes time. If we had been set on making it, this thing probably would have fallen apart a long time ago.

Abyssal Trip by Spelljammer

How did the theme for Abyssal Trip originate?

Nik: I have always been more drawn to the feelings or emotions you get from a riff or piece of music than to any theme of a lyric. But I would say that any themes came in at the lyrics state, which is at the end of the process. But the themes aren’t that specific to any of the albums. I think I cast a pretty wide net in the beginning and stuck to it. For the next album perhaps we will venture more into unchartered waters. We’ll see.

What fascinates you about the Great Abyss of the ocean?

Nik: I totally get that the word abyss conjures up images of ocean trenches and, yes, the ocean is a fascinating and to a large extent undiscovered place. However, when I wrote that I wasn’t necessarily thinking of the ocean but more the abyss of our own minds. But I think it’s a word that evokes many things, like despair and doom, and it is of course totally open to interpretation.

Is mankind doomed or do we have time to correct our course?

Nik: I’m not as pessimistic of a person as the lyrics may suggest. I think we will be here on earth for a long time. Mankind is clever (perhaps too clever for her own good) even if there are a lot of people hell-bent on trying to screw up everything for everybody else.

Rob: Yes, and considering how ignorant and careless (some) people are acting during this pandemic, at least over here, makes you wonder if there’s any hope at all.

Nik: People are the worst. Ultimately, though, none of it matters because we’re all doomed.

Have you guys seen any good movies/documentaries or read any good books lately that inspired you or otherwise challenged your thinking about life, the present, or the future?

Rob: I can’t say that I’ve seen or read anything recently that challenged me significantly, I guess I’m getting too old to be that overwhelmed haha. The film A Ghost Story though was kind of cool though because it was different, slow and weird (in a good way), and for me it’s always inspiring to read/see/hear something that makes you think, "Man, I wish I had come up with that idea”.

Nik: Absolutely! Punch Drunk Love, Moon, and Office Space are definitely movies like that. I have watched so many movies and series through this pandemic and I can’t remember any of them right now. But I did just notice that there is a season 3 of Loudermilk on HBO! If you haven’t already, see it! I’m currently reading "Homeward Bound, The Life of Paul Simon” by Peter Ames Carlin. It’s a good read about one of my favorite musicians.

For recording this album, what kind of gear did you use and what production/engineering considerations did you have to take into account?

Rob: Since we did a remote recording in the countryside we had to use whatever stuff that we could fit into a couple of cars. I have a couple of old audio interfaces that I linked for a total of 16 channels. I also have a small collection of mics (nothing fancy) and we used them all and the rest was borrowed. We set up the drums in the living room and put the guitar and bass rigs as far away as we could (the adjacent rooms) to avoid bleed and just focused on getting the rhythm tracks done. The goal was to get us all in the same room and to catch the vibe from a relaxed rehearsal kind of situation. The bass rig used was a Orange Terror Bass and an Ampeg SVT 810 and the guitar was tracked through a Reval Mark I and/or Orange TH-100 and a Orange PPC 412. Of course there’s always some unforeseen problem lurking and this time it was the electricity in the old country house.

Nik: I don’t use many effects, just a fuzz. For this one I used a Supercollider from Earthbound Audio. It is exactly what the name suggests. That’s all you need really.

The album cover is amazing! It reminds me, in some strange way, of the creature in the old B-movie Robot Monster (1953). What's the story behind the artwork?

Nik: It definitely has a B-movie vibe that I really like. I’m afraid I can’t really tell you much about it other than the artist name is Aaron Cahill and you can find his stuff on Instagram under the name nghbrs.

I filmed your first US appearance at Psycho Las Vegas in 2016. Fans want to know: do you have ambitions of returning to North America once the world sorts out this pandemic?

Rob: Yes, that’s our first and only US appearance so far and we wouldn’t mind at all returning to Vegas or any other part of the US. For now it’s really hard making any plans at all. In fact, you would think that this kind of isolation would enhance creativity, and maybe for some it does, but for us it’s actually been the most unproductive period so far for Spelljammer. So I’m hoping that by the time this thing blows over we get the inspiration back both for writing/recording new music, and in time hopefully revisiting the US!

Nik: I agree, playing at Psycho Las Vegas was a blast. I hope we get another opportunity to come back some day.

Spelljammer at Psycho Las Vegas/a>

Some Buzz

“The vastness of everything is something that I think about a lot,” says Spelljammer bassist/vocalist Niklas Olsson. And it certainly shows in both the expansive, sludgy sounds and contemplative lyrics of the Stockholm, Sweden based trio. Following a 5-year break between their previous album, Ancient of Days — perhaps fittingly spent pondering said vastness — Spelljammer is back with an album that perfectly bridges the band’s earlier desert rock leanings and their later massive, slow-burning riffs.

'Abyssal Trip' (note: carefully reread that album title) takes its moniker from the perpetually dark, cold, oxygen-free zone at the bottom of the ocean. The 6-song, 44-minute album fittingly embodies that bleak realm with rumbling, oozing guitars intercut with dramatic melodic interludes. The songs take their time to unfurl, making them even more hypnotic. Likewise, the lyrics take a poetic approach to establishing the sonic scenery.

“The lyrical themes we address, like the ultimate doom of man, and the search and longing for new and better worlds, are still there,” Olsson says. “The concept of something undiscovered out there in vast emptiness is pretty much always present.”

The recording process for Abyssal Trip differs from previous releases in that the band — guitarist Robert Sörling, drummer Jonatan Rimsbo and Olsson — opted to capture the performances while holed up in the mental bathysphere of a house in the countryside near Stockholm. “The songs benefitted from the relaxed environment of being away from everything,” Olsson explains. Indeed, the album sounds confident and meticulously arranged, afforded by the band’s isolation. Sörling mixed the album and it was mastered by Monolord drummer Esben Willems at Berserk Audio.

Album opener “Bellwether” begins dramatically with a very slow, nearly minute-long fade in of rumbling distortion setting the stage for heavily distorted bass and guitar plucking out the lugubrious riff for another minute and a half before the drums begin, and likewise equally as long before vocals gurgle to the surface. “Lake” abruptly shifts gears, opening with an unusually fast gallop before rupturing into thundering doom that soon drops into a clean-tone Middle Eastern melodic breakdown.

The title track serves as the album centerpiece, opening with ominous film dialogue about blood sacrifice that launches into pummeling, detuned guitars rumbling over gut-punching drums and howling vocals hearkening to the proto-sludge of Pink Floyd’s “The Nile Song.” The dynamic relents briefly for a slow building clean guitar melody before all instruments lock into a jerking riff topped off by a trilling Iommi style lead. Throughout, Abyssal Trip is, just like its title suggests, an epic tour through desolate zones which yields much to discover.

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yossariandawn · 4 years ago

Note

Ooh tell me more about the new soul and Disney crack!! Also dirty laundry?? What is that?!

asked by @alwaysupatnight, I don’t know what’s up with tumblr, but y’all will just have to trust me on this.

New Soul: This one is the SethKate Just Like Heaven AU that was requested here by anon! I haven’t forgotten, but I also haven’t gotten very far with it. I’m still working out the kinks of giving Seth a visual “noncorporal” cue, and it may ending up being gifsets since that would be a much easier way to get the exposition out on what the heck is going on, but the song New Soul by Yael Naim is what I’m currently planning on using for mood/structure. I’ve always liked that song, tbh, and it works pretty well for the story idea I have in my head. Disclaimer: I haven’t actually watched Just Like Heaven, but I did check out the trailer and I think I got the important gist of it down. General outline for it so far: Kate’s new studio apartment was supposed to be a fresh start, but then she met her new roomate - former tenant/always stubborn dead guy Seth, who is now haunting the place and won’t leave her in peace. Seth doesn’t remember what got him stuck in between this plan of existence and the next, but he won’t go without a fight (and lots of flirting)

Disney Crack!: Will be an excuse to use a bunch of Disney songs for short SethKate snippets (and other FDTD characters when it fits) I don’t have much done here either, but here are a few songs that will most likely end up in the final cut: I Won’t Say I’m In Love, Something There, I’ll Make A Man Out of You. It also may evolve into “Songs From My Childhood” because I Want It That Way by The Backstreet Boys came on the radio the other day, and I started cracking myself up imagining Seth being extra dramatic during some of the verses.

Dirty Laundry: I’m no good with titles (or summaries lol) so once again this is the name of the song I’m using (Dirty Laundry by Bitter:Sweet) but I may try and think of a better title later. It’s about half done, and I’m actually really excited about it, because it’s just so over the top and ridiculous. It was originally going to be my first Crack! video, but once I started, IT JUST GREW AND GREW into it’s own thing with a somewhat plot and everything. Next thing I knew, it was a full fledged AU of Season 2 with no drugs and all the Bonnie and Clyding we deserved to get during the Mexican Honeymoon. Tease: Turns out, a certain someone is a bit of a bad influence. 🤭

And here’s a tiny snippet of Kate showing off her new look in between jobs:

also, this scene previously teased here in one of my Kate breakdown will also be included.

Thank you so much for all the asks @alwaysupatnight!!! 💖💖💖

#replies #ask games #asked and answered #sethkate #sethkate au #about me #yossariandawn made this

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limjaeseven · 4 years ago

Text

Dandelions

Pairing: Yugyeom X Youngjae

Genre: Fluff, Smut

Word Count: 4,199

Summary: Flowers meant to a lot to Yugyeom, Youngjae made them special to him.

Warnings: Weird pacing, lingerie, implied smut, Yugjae being absolute cuties, cursing, mention of an emotional breakdown

Prompt(s): School is hard. It is less hard when you have someone to help out.

[a/n]: This fic is part of @got7writerscollective‘s The Virgo Project. Applications for the net are open so check the pinned post of the blog if you wish to join the network

The wind was blowing in Yugyeom's face as he made his ways up the Arts buildings's steps on a warm spring afternoon. Making his way to the dance studio at the end off the hall, the ravenette passed the music room to hear the most beautiful voice he'd ever heard.

Yugyeom froze in place as he processed the sound that flooded his ears. The soft melody of a piano accompanied the words as they made their way out of the room to Yugyeom. The voice, full and unimaginably warm, filled Yugyeom's body with such hope that his heart felt like it was about to beat out of his chest. Turning quietly in the direction of the room, he peeked into the music room.

The softest brown hair, the prettiest heart shaped smile, the finest fingers, the brightest eyes that Yugyeom had ever seen filled his senses as he stared at the boy sitting in front of the grand piano in the music room. His forehead clear of worry as he looked down as the sheet in front of him and played the instrument with expertise made Yugyeom mesmerised.

But the ravenette was soon pulled out of his haze as the music abruptly stopped. He looked up to see the boy looking back at him, his eyes blown wide, almost as if he was a scared. Yugyeom composed himself and cleared his throat awkwardly, reaching one hand up the scratch at the back of his neck.

"Do you always sneak around to creepily watch people?" The boy at the keyboard broke the silence first, his comment making Yugyeom's ears redden.

"You sing really well, I was just heading to the dance studio and stopped to listen" Yugyeom tried hard not to stutter but it was hard with the most beautiful man he had ever seen in his life in front of him. The man stood up to walk to Yugyeom, stopping in front of him and extending his hand.

"Choi Youngjae" Yugyeom hesitantly took the man's hand, smiling back brightly as he slowly felt himself relax into the touch. He introduced himself before remembering that he was running late for class. Shouting a small apology, the ravenette ran across the hall to enter the practise room just in time.

When he finishes, the music room is empty, save for a small note pasted on the piano lid. Yugyeom saw his name written in a pretty handwriting on the front as he peeled the small bit of tape carefully.

Choi Youngjae had left his number for Yugyeom to find, hoping he would come back to search for him. The younger felt his heart skip a beat when he saw Youngjae's number and 'go on a date with me?' scrawled cutely on the piece of paper.

Yugyeom ended up staring at the piece of paper for hours before he could muster up the courage to actually text Youngjae. He retyped the message a million times before settling on 'hey it's Yugyeom' before sending it and throwing his phone across the bed so that he wouldn't stress over the boy replying.

After forcing himself to wash the dishes that had been piling up in the sink of the apartment Yugyeom shared with his childhood best friend Bambam, he finally heard the notification bell of his phone go off, and Yugyeom would never admit it but he almost leapt over his bed to grab his phone and see if the brunette had replied.

The conversation started slow at first, going over the basic 'what's up's and 'how's life's, but soon both boys realised they had a lot more in common than they had originally expected. From their love of music to their weird obsession with MasterChef, the two boys ended up spending an hour texting before Youngjae called Yugyeom on the phone.

Yugyeom almost had a mini heart attack as he felt his phone vibrate in his hands, Youngjae's contact popping up on the screen. The younger mumbled a shy hello which was met with bubbling laughter from Youngjae's end who didn't hide the fact that he found Yugyeom cute, much to the younger's dismay, who wanted to portray a more "sexy" appearance, not so different from that of his cousin's boyfriend Jaebeom.

After hours of talking about seemingly everything but at the same time what felt like absolutely nothing, Yugyeom looked at his window to see the first rays of the sun peak through his sheer curtains, signaling dawn. Fortunately for both the young men, they had their day off so they bid each other good night, or rather morning with the promise of meeting for lunch at a local restaurant. When enquired if it was meant to be a date, Youngjae merely chuckled and told the younger to get some sleep.

Not more than six hours later, Yugyeom was up on his feet, walking impatiently across the small flat, much to Bambam's dismay, who usually slept till late afternoon on off days. The ravenette spent an ungodly amount of time trying to pick an outfit and in the end settled for a pair of black skinny jeans that really accentuated his long dancer legs, a black and white checkered shirt and a pair of lace up boots that he may or may not have stolen from Bambam's closet.

The anticipation led him to reach the restaurant ten minutes before the time they had agreed to meet up, so he took the liberty of picking a table for him, distracting himself for just a few moments. Yugyeom selected a small table next to a large floor to ceiling window which let the sunlight fill the room with an almost angelic feeling, similar to how he felt when he first met Youngjae.

The older man arrived five minutes late and proceeded to apologise profusely for his tardiness to which Yugyeom just laughed at his cuteness and signalled the waiter to their table. After catching Youngjae trying to pick the cheapest thing on the menu, Yugyeom insisted that the older pick what he really liked, and that the ravenette would pay for the meal, for it was a date after all.

The comment caught Youngjae off guard, which gave Yugyeom enough time to figure out what Youngjae had originally wanted to order and asked for it himself. The elder slapped the boy's arm which just made both of them laugh out loud, a bit misplaced in the slightly posh environment but Yugyeom absolutely loved it.

"I never said it was a date," Said Youngjae with an adorable pout, making the butterflies and the sudden urge to kiss the elder resurface in him.

"Well I'm saying it is, any objections?" To which Youngjae didn't say anything because he knew he was just playing around with the younger. Their food arrived in the midst of their conversation about the best seasons of MasterChef America and it was eaten and plates taken away without the two men ever realising, their eyes locked onto each other.

Yugyeom did end up paying for the meal, not that he really minded, being lucky enough to come from a well off family with parents who gave him generous allowances. Youngjae on the other hand came from a small village, where his family worked as farmers and couldn't pay for his college tuition so Youngjae had to earn his scholarship on his own, making him very careful about money.

Yugyeom and Youngjae's relationship bloomed in the summer of the year that they met, first becoming inseparable friends before the love dyed itself into the fabric of their relationship. They learned small things about each other along the way, like how Youngjae loved to sing while doing almost anything, his brows furrowed in concentration as his lips formed the words of the song.

Youngjae on the other hand learned about his boyfriend's love for flowers, noticing it first with the four flower vases in the man's house. He made it a habit to buy his boyfriend a singe flower every day, a gesture that Yugyeom blushed at profusely the first time but grew to love, anticipating the type of flower he would receive every coming day.

On their third month anniversary, one that Yugyeom found rather unnecessary to celebrate, Youngjae took the man on a date which entailed driving for almost two hours, much to Yugyeom's dismay, who was dying of anticipation since he had no idea where his boyfriend was taking him. After jamming to rather suggestive music that Yugyeom seemed to have an obsession with, they arrived at their destination, which was more like an empty road on the countryside but Youngjae said they had reached so Yugyeom got out of the car.

In front of the ravenette was acres of yellow flowers that never seemed to end. As far his eyes could see, small, bright bursts of sunlight sat on top of the greenery, making the place look almost as if it was a picture of heaven, not the earth that Yugyeom inhabited. Youngjae laced his fingers with his boyfriend's and led him through the small gaps between the massive patches of flowers to a clearing somewhere in the middle, far away from civilization and surrounded by nature.

In the clearing was a red checkered blanket and a basket full of Yugyeom's favourite food, including an iced choco which was suspiciously cold. Both of them settled on the ground, enjoying the environment around them, the bright sun and quiet atmosphere having its own charm.

"Dandelions," Youngjae said "I've read somewhere that dandelions signify wishes and having them fulfilled. I had wished when I was young to meet a person who stole my heart and cared for it, instead of breaking it. I know it's really early for us, but I have a feeling that I've gotten my wish." Yugyeom had tried to keep his composure and not act too surprised at the statement but the way he choked on his drink and his ears went red made Youngjae burst out laughing and made Yugyeom wonder if he's actually fallen in love with an angel.

Things were going great till finals season rolled around. Yugyeom's degree had required a compulsory English course and if there was one thing Yugyeom knew for sure about himself it was that he was absolutely terrible at English. Yugyeom spent hours pouring over a Korean to English dictionary and his notes but nothing made sense to him, the words floating in his mind with no meaning to hold them together.

After four days of locking himself in his bedroom and three days of not charging his phone, the sounds of someone harshly knocking on his door woke him up from the restless sleep he had fallen into on his study table.

"What is it, Bam?" Yugyeom shouted, annoyed. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands, trying to get rid of the sleep that still lingered in them before harshly opening the door to see a very angry looking Youngjae, along with his cousin Jinyoung standing in front of him.

The two men pushed the door wide open and sat down on the younger's bed, looking extremely displeased at the energy bar wrappers and empty take out boxes littered amongst stacks of paper in the ravenette's room. Yugyeom looked at them guiltily, hanging his head. Jinyoung was about to say something when his phone started ringing loudly. The man gave Yugyeom a dirty look before excusing himself to pick up the call.

"What the hell is this, Yugyeom? I've been trying to contact you for days and you seemingly drop off the face of the earth. I tried to contact Bambam but he was out of town visiting his parents and I was so worried about you! I showed up here twice but you never opened the front door! I went to Jaebeom hyung as a last resort and Jinyoung hyung mentioned having a pair of keys to your apartment and I dragged him immediately to meet you. What do you think you're doing?" Youngjae, usually the sweet angel who never got mad at Yugyeom, was fuming as he shouted at his boyfriend.

Yugyeom looked at the way his boyfriend stood there, pointing a finger at him and shouting, but he didn't hear a word he said. It was as if his brain had shut off as it slowly processed what was happening. He had spent four days trying to study for his exams but he knew nothing, and it wasn't him being pessimistic, he really had no idea what the words written on the paper meant, he had no idea how he was going to make it through the paper. He couldn't fail, his parents didn't spend so much money to send him to one of the most prestigious colleges in the country for him to fail at something as simple as English.

It felt like the world came crashing around Yugyeom, all over an exam he couldn't fail if he didn't want to repeat the course next semester. It was just the fact that Yugyeom had never failed at anything in life, yes, he was from quite a privileged family but it wasn't like he didn't face any hardships in life, and for those that he did, he always worked hard and got through it and for the first time it felt like nothing would get him though this. He suddenly felt his legs give out under him as he fell to his knees, face hidden in his palms, shoulders shaking from the choked sobs that left his lips.

"....gyeom, Yugyeom, Yugyeom baby can you hear me?" Youngjae ran to his boyfriend as he saw him collapse onto the floor, kneeling in front of him and shaking him vigorously to get him back to his sense. Yugyeom snapped out of his haze as he heard Youngjae calling his name. His head shot up to look at the brunette, the tears only streaming down faster as his boyfriend pulled him in for a tight hug and he nuzzled his face in the elder's shoulder.

"It's okay, baby, it's okay" Youngjae kept chanting, rocking Yugyeom back and forth. Guilt welled in Youngjae's heart, blaming himself for getting too angry at his boyfriend. He shouldn't have shouted so loudly, he shouldn't have been so harsh, thought Youngjae. His head kept finding more reasons to blame himself for his boyfriend's current state before his train of thought broke when Jinyoung stepped in to see the two men sitting on the floor, clinging tightly onto each other.

It took awhile for Yugyeom to calm down and clear his head. Jinyoung brought him a glass of water which he chugged harshly, almost getting some of it in his windpipe. After a round of cuddling in silence, Yugyeom started feeling more like himself. Once he could speak without bursting into tears, he explained everything to the two men, half expecting them to judge him for having a breakdown over something so petty.

Much to his surprise, Youngjae just hugged him tightly, while Jinyoung opted to pet his hair and reassure that it's alright to feel stressed over his work. Yugyeom had always been someone who strived for perfection, it showed in his dancing, and sometimes when things didn't work out, he could get stressed and that was okay, Jinyoung told him.

Jaebeom showed up after a while, mainly to check on Yugyeom and pick Jinyoung up to go back home. Youngjae ran to give his friend a hug, the brunette had always considered the man to be like his own older brother, having had lived as roommates in Youngjae's freshman year of college. The elder also told Yugyeom to accept that he was stressed about the exam and work to get through it, and that he would always love and support him, regardless of what happened in the future.

Once the couple left Yugyeom's apartment, Youngjae lingered, cooking some dinner that they had on the living room couch together, sitting at either end and playing footsie while the TV played in the background, not that either of them paid any attention to it. Just as Youngjae was about to tuck Yugyeom in and leave, the younger held onto the brunette's wrist and asked him to sat, and Youngjae obliged.

"I'm sorry, gyeom, I didn't mean to shout at you, I was really worried" Yugyeom pressed his lips on to his boyfriend's instead of answering him at first, but that wasn't a good enough response to Youngjae, who proceeded to pull away, much to Yugyeom's dismay.

"What I did was pretty reckless and shitty hyung. I could have let you know that I had an exam coming up, or that I was busy. Ghosting you was wrong, I'm the one who should be sorry" Youngjae just shook his head and pressed a soft kiss to his boyfriend's forehead.

"Oh also, if you're struggling with English you could have asked me, I did the same course last semester and topped the batch" Youngjae said casually, earning a harsh slap across his arm. The elder just chuckled and pulled Yugyeom close but the ravenette was mad and so he pushed himself away from Youngjae and sat up.

"Why couldn't you have told me this earlier? I spent four days trying to figure out what a single paragraph meant!" Yugyeom slapped Youngjae's arm again when the older started laughing uncontrollably but stopped when he saw his boyfriend pout.

"You never asked, Gyeomie. This is why we talk to each other, communicate, you know? Anyways, don't worry, I'll help you pass the exam" Youngjae kept that promise well, he spent the next week tutoring Yugyeom, who was able to understand enough to pass the test just two days in. They would have finished preparing for the exam earlier but Yugyeom kept getting distracted by Youngjae's lips, by how cute they looked when he spoke English, and kept trying to steal kisses from the elder.

By the end of the week Youngjae was so frustrated of ending up in bed at the end of the evening instead of finishing Yugyeom's studies that he decided to use it to his advantage. On the day before Yugyeom's exam, Youngjae arrived at his place in a long coat tied tightly around his waist. Noticing Yugyeom's questioning gaze over the outfit since it was still warm for thick coats, Youngjae opened the tie at the front to reveal the outfit he had bought from the mall the night before.

Soft yellow fabric covered his waist and legs in the form of a pair of lacy panties, a silky garter belt and sheer thigh highs. Youngjae had paired the ensemble with a cropped top, again in Yugyeom's favourite colour, yellow. Youngjae could visibly see the way Yugyeom swallowed harshly, stepping closer to touch the elder but instead had his hands slapped away before Youngjae discarded the robe and moved to sit down at Yugyeom's desk.

"Pass your test tomorrow, and you get to fuck me in this; don't and I throw this away immediately, it would be a pity but that's the deal" Yugyeom struggled to pay attention to his studies that night but Youngjae's proposition had left the younger hungry and motivated to do well at his exam, if not just to get the opportunity to see his boyfriend come undone all dolled up in the lingerie.

Yugyeom thought he did pretty well at his test, but it turned out that he didn't just to well, he topped his batch. The ravenette, overjoyed at the result, snapped a picture of his rank and sent it to his boyfriend. He put his phone back into his pocket, not having the time to wait for a reply since he was getting late for his next class.

By the time Yugyeom was done with his classes and arrived back at his apartment he was beyond exhausted. He opened the door to see Bambam watching RuPaul's drag race. The elder shouted a hello and Yugyeom responded with a small wave before heading to his room. The scream that followed the sound of Yugyeom's bedroom door opening made Bambam rush to see what was going on, only to see Youngjae sitting on his roommates bed in lingerie.

"My eyes!" Bambam screamed, which made Yugyeom snap out of his haze. Realising that his best friend had just seen his scantily clad boyfriend, the younger pushed Bambam out of his room and locked the door before turning back to see Youngjae walking slowly towards him.

"My baby did so well, didn't he? Well I had a promise to keep so here I am. What do you think?" Youngjae twirled around to let Yugyeom get a good view of his outfit. The younger pulled his boyfriend in for a rough kiss, pulling one moan after the other from the elder.

It didn't take long for the two men to end up in bed and one intense round of sex later, the two basked in the afterglow of their orgasms, cuddling close. One traumatised Bambam aside, Yugyeom was in seventh heaven, he was doing well with his studies, he met the love of his life and sex was incredible.

Life unfortunately was not easy for either of them after that day. There were ups, but there were just as many downs in their life, in their relationship, in their studies and it was a struggle to get through the day sometimes but regardless of what happened, they were always by each other's side, helping them cross the finish line, one day at a time.

Then came a day, it was in the middle of fall, four years into their relationship, both having graduated from college and living together in their own little apartment, when a visitor dropped by their house out of nowhere.

Yugyeom opened the door, seeing a man standing in front of him, asking for Youngjae. Calling his boyfriend from his bedroom, the elder emerged to see the man at the door and freeze, his jaw dropped open. Just as Yugyeom was about to ask the man what was wrong, Youngjae ran across to hug the stranger tightly, wrapping his hands tightly around his neck and laughing loudly.

"Yugyeom, this is Younghyun, but I call him Brian. He was my childhood best friend but left Mokpo in highschool to study in Canada!" Youngjae explained excitedly while Younghyung whined about being called Brian, which apparently the man hated.

Yugyeom hated to assume things but seeing how close the two were and how much skinship they shared, Yugyeom couldn't help but feel jealous of Younghyun. The man was incredibly handsome and witty, making Youngjae burst into his iconic laugh every five minutes or so. Yugyeom could feel his blood boiling, as hard as he tried to control it.

Younghyun had made all the insecurities that Yugyeom carried in his heart, resurface. Being with Youngjae wasn't easy, the elder was sweet and well loved by all. Yugyeom had often spent hours wondering why Youngjae had chosen him out of all the people that would have killed to date the man.

Yugyeom knew he was madly in love with his boyfriend, they had confessed their true feelings towards each other six months prior but sitting there, across from his boyfriend and his best friend as they chatted happily, Yugyeom felt like he was missing something, almost like a physical sign to bound them together. They were too young to get married but Yugyeom still wanted to show Youngjae that he was going to be there forever.

So, exactly four months after the day Yugyeom had his epiphany when he met Younghyun, on the day of their fifth anniversary, Yugyeom dragged his boyfriend to the local tattoo parlor where Jaebeom worked. He begged the elder to accompany him for moral support for getting his first tattoo.

Yugyeom wanted Youngjae to be there with him but refused to reveal the design he had asked Jaebeom to draw for him till it was complete. After hours of waiting and a lot of pain, it was done, and Yugyeom loved it. He hugged Jaebeom tightly and thanked him for his wonderful work before turning to Youngjae.

The younger turned to the side to show off his rib cage which now has a beautiful flower inked on it. It was harsh and masculine with its sharp geometric style but still radiated the soft beauty that the elder associated with his boyfriend.

"Dandelions, " Yugyeom said, "You told me they have to do with having your wishes fulfilled, but they also stand for surviving through all challenges and difficulties, hyung. The last five years have been the happiest times of my life and I never want to get go of that, of you. This here, is my love for you and what you've given me, inked to my body. I love you hyung, more than you'll ever realise" Youngjae pulled the younger in for a deep kiss, tears running down his cheeks at the devotion the younger displayed for their love. It may not be perfect, but it was theirs and that made it perfect.

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sawdustandgin · 4 years ago

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A Year of Happiness, Joy and Sarcasm: My 2020 in Review

Absolutely nothing needs to be said about the year of our lord 2020 that hasn’t already been shouted from every social media platform like a shrieking alarm alerting us that the ship is sinking. We know. We’re all wet.

I will not remember 2020 as mask-clad because I didn’t take any photos while wearing one.

Every December, I reflect on the year through a short essay, allowing myself many opportunities to gush about the music that I didn’t include on my best-of lists but that I still loved dearly. (Though I guess I skipped last year. I found an abandoned draft the other day…) And consistently, I have regarded each year as one of transition.

I don’t have clear career aspirations outside of wanting to engage with music as deeply and personally as I can; my only concrete life plan is to profile small towns across the country through the lens of its local music scene. So, with this nebulous image of a future endeavor, I have had a tumultuous time with money since losing my job two years ago. I realized fairly quickly, after only a few months of foundering at it, that I was unable to freelance my way to a liveable income. And in all honesty, this was for the best—nothing hurts worse than realizing the activity you are most passionate about has become a chore. I stopped worrying about pitching editors and trying to rub elbows, and I got to work applying for jobs. I, incredibly luckily, secured one after a few more months. The adjustment to being unemployed was a leap for me and my deep desire for a routine, but the adjustment to being employed and trying to maintain a balance between day job and side gig was even harder.

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Then I loosened up a bit. Toward the end of last year, I tried to make a vow to be more consistent with the blog, but instead, I prioritized sleep. At the time, I didn’t realize that it was an either/or scenario and probably would have made a greater effort to avoid my television if I had. But ultimately, I had to accept that my relationship with music journalism was on my terms. And regardless of how [in]frequently I ‘discovered’ new artists (for myself), I wasn’t ‘missing out’ on anything.

And let’s be real, I wasn’t overly eager to listen to new stuff starting around April. I put so much energy into not losing myself in quarantine that I tuckered myself out before shit really hit the ceiling. When I began thinking toward my year-end lists in November, I began to worry that this would be my most deflated best-of season in recent memory.

That’s ok, Zoë, no one really cares about top ten lists, I can hear you thinking, colored by a fascination with my determination. But as a double cancer and pisces moon, I like to cling to the art that moves my soul (read: ~nostalgia~). And so I take great joy in spending all of December and most of January repeatedly listening to my favorite music until I conjure a partially arbitrary ranking system and create playlists galore. It really is the best time of the year.

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Of course, there are always a few titles that need no additional spins, whether due to automatic disqualification or simply because I listened so much that I know it intimately. The automatic disqualifications this year were particularly striking.

A few easy omissions were Chromatica, Positions, and Fetch the Bolt Cutters. Lady Gaga delivered her skip-less album around the time when it became clear that the pandemic was not even somewhat close to containment; my roommate and I cooked to Chromatica every night, singing along to every word. With each new record, Ariana Grande becomes a more graceful songwriter, and it also helps that Positions is a plain ol', boot-knockin’ good time. And the raw power Fiona Apple wields in Fetch the Bolt Cutters would be frightening were she not the perfect vessel to deliver it to us.

Then there is the category of albums that simply didn’t need my (albeit dim) spotlight: Set My Heart on Fire Immediately, græ, and KicK i are each masterpieces in their own right. They each move purposefully through diverse landscapes, each song a new adventure not bound by genre or expectation. Interestingly, Perfume Genius and Moses Sumney were never mainstays in my music rotation, while my love for Arca is unquestioned.

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That leads us to Re-Animator, I’m Your Empress Of and The Mosaic of Transformation, all of which I actively feel bad for disqualifying. I’m too much of a fan of Everything Everything to impartially write about their new album, though it was one of my most frequently played. I have been writing best-of lists for six years now and I would prefer to write about a constantly expanding, diverse group of artists. That means I can’t keep doting on Empress Of, despite her status as one of our best contemporary artists. Me and Us were truly just prelude to her 2020 record, whose title is a formal introduction. Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith is also the most talented analog synth musician that I personally have ever engaged with, and her latest album is everything I could have wanted.

It took some self-control (aka strict time management) to not write a few thousand words about The Ascension. Let’s recall my massive thesis on Carrie & Lowell… Yes, I am a former Catholic who thrives in the ambiguous invocation of Scripture, especially from a songwriter who quite literally shaped my taste in music. Luckily, I’m not nearly as pent up with anger and existential dread as in 2015 when I was, for the first time, processing the physical and emotional distance from my family. This elongated emotional breakdown was spurred by drama between my parents, but was also due to an irrational fear I held about my own mother’s death. Listening to Sufjan Stevens forgive his mother on her figurative deathbed has stayed with me.

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The anxiety I felt about 2020 was almost entirely external, so the gorge formed from the current of The Ascension was not nearly as deep a canyon in my heart as C&L, though it is still an affecting 80-minute journey. Stevens’ production, when coupled with his lyricism, is a breakthrough, though I do hear murmurs of folktronica from earlier in the decade. (I’m begging everyone to listen to Under Our Beds by Consilience.) And for perhaps the first time, there were songs that I occasionally skip. If I still had to commute to work, I bet they would have grown on me. In fact, this would have been a perfect driving album—one that wouldn’t cause me to weep while on the interstate. (oh Carrie. oh Lowell.)

Then there was VOL.II by my dear friend Lauren Ruth Ward. She gave me an opportunity to write a unique interview with her about the record to be printed on the inside of the gatefold, making it a permanent fixture on this most exciting of sophomore albums. I could not justify writing anything more about it, if only to preserve the sanctity of that interview, which I gave more effort and attention than any other piece of writing I had done. It was a wonderful and inspiring experience that I hope to replicate. The most heartbreaking part of the pandemic’s onset, from a social perspective, was not being able to visit Lauren after the record was released.

With all that said, 2020 was about so much more than the music I listened to. All the digital replacements for physical intimacy during lockdown made me realize that my legacy (aka all my music writing) is fragile, locked into the impermanence of the internet. So I took it upon myself to build a physical archive; in the fall, I finalized a zine template, and the first eight issues are in the can. (So far, I have 19 zines planned. Email me if you are interested in having one!)

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I’ve also been living without a front tooth since mid-March. On one hand, it’s been convenient to wear a mask to hide the hole in my mouth, but on the other hand, all I want to do is bite into an apple. (For almost two years before I even knew I had to have my tooth removed, I had been forced to slice apples before being able to eat them. The abject humiliation.) The journey with my dentists and oral surgeon has been excruciating, to say the least. Who knew three people in the same medical practice could have such mightily different styles of care? [Author’s note: I got my crown after writing this essay! :grinning-emoji:]

In sum, it was my image of myself that I was able to see a bit clearer this year. Each year I think that I’ve figured something else out about myself, which had always led me to believe that I am a most-complex, divine being. But I think a more accurate interpretation is that, put simply, I am not static. My thoughts and emotions adapt to life and life doesn’t seem to stop throwing me around like sneakers in a tumbling dryer. My pronouns are now they/them and while I don’t have many specifics as to why, I just know that this feels right.

I hope your year was at least acceptable; 2021 promises a host of new challenges, but I think we can take ‘em.

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#year in review #best of #best of 2020 #music blog #music review #Lady Gaga #Ariana Grande #Fiona Apple #Perfume Genius #Moses Sumney #Arca #Everything Everything #Empress Of #Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith #Sufjan Stevens #Consilience #Lauren Ruth Ward #2020 #year in review 2020

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bthenoise · 5 years ago

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We’re Starting To Lose It So We Made A Fake Music Award Show To Remember The Quarantine By

We are losing our minds and we aren’t talking figuratively like The Pixies. Every morning waking up in quarantine feels like an episode of Punk’d.

Where is Aston Kutcher -- oh right, it’s 2020 -- Where is Chance The Rapper? we ask ourselves as we peel ourselves out of bed for what feels like the millionth time.

Seriously, though. We know you guys are feeling the same way too. We read the tweets. We see the TikToks. Ya’ll are losing your goddamn minds just like us.

The good thing is, to help with this sense of craziness as best as we possibly can (which isn’t saying much, we aren’t doctors after all -- shout out to all the amazing medical teams out there!) we have constructed the first and hopefully last 2020 Noise Quarantine Awards.

Featuring highly coveted awards such as Best Soundtrack To Fuel Your Hatred For The Government and Best Song To Steal Toilet Paper To, the awards below are meant to shine a light on all the positive things to come out of 2020.

We know it sounds like an impossible task to put “2020″ and “postive” in the same sentence but somehow we did it.

Check out the awards below.

Fantastic Features Award

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Silverstein - A Beautiful Place To Drown

Honestly, there are probably about ten different awards we could give Silverstein’s sensational LP A Beautiful Place To Drown. From start to finish, this is hands down one of the band’s best albums yet. However, for the sake of this very serious and very made-up award show, we are happy to present the scene staples with the Fantastic Features Award.

Not only did the band include familiar favorites such as Beartooth’s Caleb Shomo, Simple Plan’s Pierre Bouvier and Underoath’s Aaron Gillespie, but they also went out of their way to include other artists such as emerging rapper Princess Nokia and Intervals’ guitarist Aaron Marshall. Now if that doesn’t deserve an award, we don’t know what does.

Back Off Pit Daddies Cause This Song Slaps Award

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A Day To Remember - “Mindreader”

But there’s no breakdown! How am I supposed to mosh to this? Would you quit your whining? It’s pretty much impossible for A Day To Remember to write a bad song. And sorry to break it to you pit warriors, they definitely didn’t start with their newest track “Mindreader.

Best Album To Eventually Soundtrack The Next Matrix Movie

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Code Orange - Underneath

Does this one really come as a surprise? Essentially creating their own genre of technology-influenced metalcore (computer core, maybe?), Code Orange’s Underneath is the perfect soundtrack to any type of action-packed, dark web-based, sci-fi thriller like The Matrix trilogy. Now would you like the red pill or the blue pill?

The Welcome Back, We Fuckin’ Missed You Award

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The Ghost Inside - “Aftermath”

A world without new music from The Ghost Inside is a world we don’t want any part of. Thankfully, for the first time since their tragic bus crash back in 2015, the metalcore maestros have returned with the hard-hitting and incredibly emotional track “Aftermath” taken from their soon-to-be-released self-titled album. So for that, the least we could do is present the band with the Welcome Back, We Fuckin’ Missed You Award.

Honorable Mention: D.R.U.G.S (aka Craig Owens) - “King I Am”

Best Song To Listen To On Repeat And Realize You Successfully Killed Two And A Half Hours Of Your Quarantine

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Loathe - “Screaming”

There is nothing made up about this whatsoever. We seriously thank Loathe for creating mind-altering music that transports you to a new dimension. “Screaming” is a gem and the band deserves to be awarded for it. Oh, and also, I Let It In And It Took Everything is an amazing record everyone needs to hear ASAP.

Best Album To Get Drunk And Talk About Your Feelings To

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Violent Soho - Everything Is A-OK

We’re not sure exactly what it is about Australia’s Violent Soho but they always seem to bring the deepest and darkest emotions out of us. Their latest LP Everything Is A-OK is no different. From track one to track ten, the band’s first new album since 2016 is an emotional magnet attracting feeling after feeling leaving us desperate for a drinking buddy and a good cry.

The If It Ain’t Broke Don’t Fix It Award

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August Burns Red - Guardians

August Burns Red has been a prominent staple of the heavy music scene for years. Since bursting out of Lancaster, PA with 2005′s Thrill Seeker, the two-time Grammy-nominated act has been a constant source of inspiration with their bruising, top-notch musicianship. Fifteen years later, with the release of their ninth studio album Guardians, the metalcore vets are still as heavy and hard-hitting as ever deserving of our If It Ain’t Broke Don’t Fix It Award.

Best Album To Eventually Soundtrack The Next Season Of Black Mirror

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Enter Shikari - Nothing Is True & Everything Is Possible

Enter Shikari is easily one of the most unpredictable bands in our scene. One minute you think you have them and their eclectic sound pinned down, then the next they release their genre-shattering LP Nothing Is True & Everything Is Possible. With cinematic twists and turns from the rock-oriented opener “THE GREAT UNKNOWN” to the cosmic tornado that is “{ The Dreamer’s Hotel }” and circus-themed “Waltzing Off The Face Of The Earth,” Enter Shikari’s spellbinding LP is a perfect fit for something just as fascinating as the next season of Netflix’s Black Mirror.

Best Album To Get Your Medical Degree To

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Vermicide Violence - The Praxis Of Prophylaxis

We understand it’s not easy to comprehend deathcore lyrics. However, if you’re in need of a good study buddy while you prepare for the boards, look no further than Jarrod Alonge’s new parody album The Praxis Of Prophylaxis. Covering high-end medical topics such as vaccines, gingivitis, asthma and more, Vermicide Violence’s new LP is sure to help a lot more than those Grey’s Anatomy re-runs.

The Tasmanian Devil Award

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Rotting Out - Ronin

The Tasmanian Devil award is a highly coveted prize (possibly one of our most coveted) given to the album with hands down the most circle-pit-inducing tracks. While there have been some pretty good options this year, the record that stands out the most is Rotting Out’s first new album in over seven years, Ronin. Without going too far into detail -- because honestly, it’s pretty obvious why we picked this record -- if you’re able to stand still while listening to these fiery ass songs, you’re probably a cop.

Best Album To Get Drunk And Talk About Your Feelings To Part Two

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Spanish Love Songs - Brave Faces, Everyone

Really? You’re gonna complain we used the same category twice in a made-up award show only created cause we’re stuck living fucking Groundhog Day over and over again? Instead, how about you put that same energy into enjoying Spanish Love Songs’ brilliant, tear-jerking album Brave Faces, Everyone. You won’t regret it.

Best Soundtrack To Fuel Your Hatred For The Government

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Anti-Flag - 20/20 Vision

Regardless of if you’re really into politics or not, it’s practically impossible at this point to not swear at our so-called “leaders” up in Washington DC. So if you’re looking for the best album to fuel your hatred for the Head Cheeto In Charge and all his helpless minions, look no further than Anti-Flag’s powerful 20/20 Vision.

Honorable Mention: The Homeless Gospel Choir - This Land Is Your Landfill

The Album Most Likely To Get You Out Of Mosh Pit Retirement

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Polaris - The Death Of Me

This record is the definition of “slaps.” From beginning to end, Polaris’ punishing new album The Death Of Me is a heavy-duty rollercoaster ride that will leave you with a melted off face and an endless desire to jump back in the pit and crack a few skulls.

Best Album To Rip A Phat Riff To

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Hot Mulligan - You’ll Be Fine

Hot Mulligan are a bunch of jokesters but there’s nothing funny about their new album You’ll Be Fine -- alright, maybe a few of the song titles are a little silly. The band’s latest release is a guitarist’s delight with ringing mathcore-like riffs that will leave you both jubilant and jealous. Case in point, give the infectious opener “OG Bule Sky” a spin and get back to us.

Honestly, Fight Us, This Song Is A Bop Award

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All Time Low feat Blackbear - “Monsters”

We know what some of you cool cats and kittens are thinking: But this isn’t pop-punk!? Since when does Blackbear get a scene pass? Listen up. No, this song isn’t “Dear Maria, Count Me In” but who cares? It’s 2020 and musical genres are dead. Enjoy the good music while you can before we’re all dead too, okay?

Honorable mention: PVRIS - “Deadweight”

Best Song To Steal Toilet Paper To

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The Chats - “Drunk N Disorderly”

If you haven’t had the fear of potentially wiping your ass with a washcloth over the last few months, this award probably isn’t for you and your 30 extra rolls of toilet paper. However, for us regular folk who have a limited supply of TP, The Chats’ fast-paced High Risk Behavior track “Drunk N Disorderly” is the perfect song for stumbling into someone’s home and swiping a roll or two.

Wow We Didn’t See That Coming Award

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Falling In Reverse - “The Drug In Me Is Reimagined”

Ronnie Radke has never been afraid to push boundaries musically. Whether it’s rapping on a track or dropping an upbeat, synth-laced single like “Bad Girls Club,” the former Escape The Fate frontman always seems to have something new up his sleeve. This year, to help celebrate 2011′s The Drug In Me Is You becoming gold-certified, Radke and Co. released an epic piano-lead version of their fan-favorite title track. The results? A majestic dream-like experience worth repeating over and over again.

If You Hurt Mother Earth One More Time We Swear You’re Dead Award

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In Hearts Wake - “Worldwide Suicide”

There’s been a lot of talk about global warming over the past few years. Recently, while we’ve all been stuck at home, skies have become clearer than ever as wild animals roam the barren streets. This is a dream come true for earth-friendly metalcore act In Hearts Wake.

Now as some cities start to reopen, let us remind you: If you even think about going back to your wasteful, pollution-heavy ways, we and In Hearts Wake will come for you with the same force and brutality as heard on their newest track “Worldwide Suicide.” Watch your back.

Sure It’s Different But Still Kicks Ass Award

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The Used - Heartwork

This isn’t The Used you knew in junior high. Bert McCrackin and Co. have returned with a fresh-faced 2020 LP that is sure to make you feel some type of way. Featuring guest appearances from members of Blink-182, FEVER 333 and Beartooth, The Used’s latest is a heavy-yet-dancy addition to their beloved-and-never-stale catalog.

Better Not Sleep On This Record Award

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Charmer - Ivy

Look, you literally have nothing but time on your hands. Why not spend it discovering new music from bands who deserve your attention? Seriously, turn off Love Is Blind and Too Hot To Handle and give Charmer’s moody 11-track release Ivy a try. You can thank us later.

Honorable Mention: Big Loser - Love You, Barely Living

Holy Shit We Can’t Believe That Just Happened Award

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Dance Gavin Dance - “Calentamiento Global”

Four words we’ve all been thinking since Dance Gavin Dance dropped their highly anticipated album Afterburner: Tilian can speak Spanish!?

Giving the entire Swancore community a jaw-dropping moment with their new experimental track “Calentamiento Global,” in the song, DGD’s brawny frontman shows a little latin flavor with lyrics like “Te adoro, mi reina. Eres la única que veo.” Unsurprisingly, like most Dance Gavin Dance (or should we say Baile Gavin Baile) experiments, the post-hardcore act totally nailed it.

The Back To Basics Award

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The Amity Affliction - Everyone Loves You... Once You Leave Them

The Amity Affliction caught a lot of flack for their experimental 2018 release Misery. While entirely unwarranted as the metalcore vets were just looking to expand their sound, for their 2020 LP Everyone Loves You... Once You Leave Them, the Aussie outfit returned to form with their breakdown-heavy musicianship and brooding lyricism. Still have doubts? How about you give “All My Friends Are Dead” a spin or two.

Skankin’ Pickle Award

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Skatune Network - Ska Goes Emo, Vol. 1

Here’s a fun one. Adding to the list of things we never thought we’d see in 2020, go ahead and add a ska record covering some of your emo favs like My Chemical Romance, Paramore and Blink-182. Already known for his creative covers, Skatune Network really outdid himself this time around with his Ska Goes Emo LP. Who would have guessed you could skank so well to “I’m Not Okay (I Promise)?”

The 2020 Glow-Up Award

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The Word Alive - Monomania

The Word Alive has seen a lot of change over the course of their ten-year career. From 2010′s hard-hitting album Deceiver to this year’s impressive LP Monomania, the band has really grown into who they are today. For the first time, instead of putting out the music they’re expected to release, the Arizona act really stepped out of their comfort zone and dropped the music they wanted to make resulting in one of this year’s freshest and best so far.

Chocolate Covered Cranberries Award

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Four Year Strong - Brain Games

For five long grueling years, we went without new music from easycore noisemakers Four Year Strong. This February, that all changed with the release of the band’s killer seventh studio album Brain Pain. Bringing the guitar-lead heaviness fans have come to love over the years along with their infectious pop-punk-leaning songwriting, Four Year Strong’s new record is the perfect balance of sour and sweet -- like chocolate covered cranberries! Who’s hungry?

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coffeeandcalligraphy · 5 years ago

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Hi! I love your youtube channel & I think you're super cool! I'm a newer follower and was wondering if you could give a summary of the concept of Fostered---it sounds like a really interesting series!

Aww thank you!

Yes I can!! Fostered is too thicc for me to give extensive summaries (unless y’all want this) and there is very little you need to know from the earlier books to understand the current ones! That’s because as myself and the series have aged, its genre, age category, and plot points have changed!

Here’s a small outline of the main characters:

Reeve

Protagonist + narrator for all “main” Fostered books

Sister of Lonan

Will write salty breakup songs about people she was never in a relationship with

Bi as fuck!

Foster

Was once Reeve’s boyfriend?? no??

Best friend of Harrison

Will write love songs about tofu

Ace as fuck!!!

Harrison

Best friend of Foster

Also Reeve’s best friend!

Sort of love-interest of Lonan (we’re getting there lol)

Will write love songs about waffles

Gay! as! fuck!

Protagonist of Moth Work

Lonan

Reeve’s brother!

An antagonist for a good chunk of this series

Will not write love songs he has no heart (he does I am just mean)

Also bi as fuck!! Everyone is bi in that family lol we love it

Here’s a breakdown (CW: there’s a lot of violence/convo about mental illness/potentially triggering content in these summaries, so tread with caution):

Fostered (book 1) to Resisted (book 3):

These books (Fostered, Hunted, Resisted) are probably the most harmonious out of the 6 (7 including Moth Work) so far! That’s because for a long time, I believed Fostered would end at three books (initially a standalone, then duology). They’re all closely linked through the “foster homes” plot (hence the name of the series) and are obviously the most dystopian of the books (all three are also YA). You can feel the 2014 dystopian vibes in this book lol. I wrote this summary 5 years ago for my first ask ever and it sums up that idea:

The book takes place in the not-too-distant future where children who’ve committed crimes, are neglected, or have chosen to, are sent to behavioural detention centres – what everyone else that’s not the government like to call ‘foster homes’. The story revolves around a fifteen-year-old girl named Reeve who’s lived two years in a ‘foster home’ after being accused of her sister’s murder. Following an accident that she caused which subsequently led to her escape of her foster home, she stumbles across a group of kids, who like her, have gone through the lifestyle and also have escaped. She makes an alliance with them and everything seems in its place until she finds out that a team of hunters are searching for her because of the same accident. Unable to remember anything that happened from the event, she then learns that maybe all things don’t point to her – what really happened on the day she escaped?

(props to 14-year-old me for writing this)

I wrote these three books so quickly (though at the time, as a thirteen-year-old, it felt like drafting took forever). I started Fostered in October of 2014, and by May of 2015, I was halfway through Resisted :))))). How?? These books are all above 85k??? I could never!!!

FOSTERED (book 1 - YA dystopian):

Follows the above plot. What isn’t mentioned above is how this book starts. We start with Reeve (15 at the time–a baby!!!) chillin in an abandoned storage unit she was hoping to use as shelter. HOWEVER, plot twist of the season–there are already people there!

She’s semi-ambushed by these people who she later learns are our good ol’ pals Foster and Harrison. The boys are also taking care of a 6-year-old girl named Essie who they love fiercely!! They’re sketched out by Reeve, which we later find out is because–they! know! her!

Foster, Harrison, and Reeve were actually all the closest pals in a ‘foster home’ they called WAFFLE. Reeve forgets that during the disastrous accident she causes that separates them (she blows up the foster home lmaooo) but lookie here–the squad is reunited! Eventually everyone comes to love each other (though it ain’t like that in the beginning) + Foster and Reeve have a romance which I find so bizarre now?? They would never.

The squad is being “hunted” by a group of “chasers” (I LOVE dystopian lool) headed by a woman named Red who is actually?? a badass? She tries to kill them a bunch of times, Reeve kills Lonan’s sister by using her as a human shield, Essie dies, I’m awful!

HUNTED (book 2 - YA dystopian):

After Essie’s death, the group is shook! Harrison especially as he is *soft* and the “leader” of the group. To protect his other ducklings who are now the most sought after people in America lmao (Foster and Reeve), he does something SCANDALOUS and joins the *government* AKA all the evil people putting innocent children in these awful detention centres. What a 180! Essentially, he does this to purposefully manipulate investigations into Foster and Reeve away from them, but Reeve doesn’t know this so she’s cheesed when she finds out (she feels #betrayed)!

Harrison’s departure of the group triggers the group’s breakup. Harrison joins an *elite* section of the government that *I believe* tries to wrangle runaway foster kids?? This group is lead by our other good pal Lonan and this is the first book he appears in! He takes Red’s place as antagonist in this book.

The group also includes Holly, a badass who is also Foster’s older sister (and also Lonan’s first serious girlfriend)! She’s scary! She also dies by hanging in a blood-drinking cult mid-way through this book! don’t! ask! Margo is this group’s tech analyst, and she’s a mentally distant hippie (and Harrison’s first and last serious girlfriend which obvi didn’t work out lol he’s gay!) Idk what Harrison’s job was here, but he learns techy stuff from Margo!

This book is important because it establishes Lonan, who continues to be a pivotal character as the series progresses. It also establishes Lonan and Harrison’s relationship. Obvi Lonan is the antagonist in this book and won’t make his redemption arc for another 1book lol, but him and Harrison have a bit of a bizarre relationship. Though they’re almost rivals, they almost adore being each other’s rivals (but don’t tell them that)? After Harrison leaves Lonan’s team, the squad essentially is *hunted* by them, hence the book title lol.

By the end of this book, a few important things happen! Lonan kills Margo (remember, Harrison’s first and last girlfriend lol, we could say Lonan was killing his competition lol is that too much), this obviously reinforces his role as bad guy! After the book’s events, Lonan eventually overtakes the group and they’re all imprisoned! Love it!

RESISTED (book 3 - YA dystopian):

This is my favourite Fostered book because there’s just so much tea! We start in “headquarters” AKA Lonan’s pride and joy! After he kills off his old boss so he can be Ultimate Antagonist (actually because she essentially killed his girlfriend ahaha), he’s the Man in Charge and power trippin like crazy.

Reeve is separated from Foster and Harrison who are also in HQ because she’s mentally unwell. Lonan has given her the job of executing people (because he is evil) which she ain’t diggin! so Lonan takes it upon himself to address her mental health concerns (which obviously isn’t helping because they mutually hate each other).

Eventually, Reeve barters with Lonan for what she wants by using Holly’s death (which only she and Foster witnessed) as leverage. As I mentioned above, Lonan essentially kills/drives away his entire *elite government squad* which means! He needs another one! Reeve uses this as an opportunity and says WELL you COULD hire Foster and Harrison. Lonan does and VOILA we suddenly have a new squad!

This is really where we build a relationship between Lonan and Reeve who have previously done nothing but try to kill each other! They actually bond in this bizarre kind of way. While they still don’t like each other, they mutually understand each other more than Foster and Harrison do as in many ways, Lonan and Reeve have both done the same awful things (lots of killing people :))).

This all builds up to the epic reveal that they are actually half siblings (they share a mother) and oh DOES THE TEA START BOILING. This news causes major tension in the OG squad (Reeve, Foster, Harrison) as Foster and Harrison think Lonan has done too many irredeemable things to be forgiven, despite the fact that he and Reeve are related. They are right! However, Reeve isn’t so quick to decide.

She and Lonan go through a lot together (including kidnapping! attempted murder! An explosion! Reeve pretending to be a corpse!) which are still some of my favourite things to re-read and the reason I love this book the most out of all the books I’ve written. This is where #redemption arc occurs!

This book is too long for me to cover everything, but essentially their relationship is the most important! The book ends when the squad (now joined by Lonan) is forced out of hiding because Reeve is injured and actually needs real medical attention! This leads to ANOTHER separation, with Reeve heading back to a foster home for the first time in a few years!

Hollowed (book 4) to Rewired (book 6)

HOLLOWED (book 4 - YA (?) dystopian (?))

Book four is my least favourite book of the 6 and that’s because it’s melodramatic and I was finding my writing style! It’s not quite appropriate for YA because of its violent subject matter, but wouldn’t appeal to adults, so it’s a bit category-less. Dystopian elements still exist, but are less relevant, so it’s also a bit muddled in term of genre.

All you need to know in terms of events are that Reeve meets someone named Lincoln in the foster home she’s put in (see previous) who ends up being a horrifically abusive person. He sort of shifts into the role as antagonist, though from this book on, the lines between good guys and bad guys blur. Hollowed also introduces a new character–Glenne! Glenne is Lonan’s second serious girlfriend and remnants of this relationship still show up in current Fostered spinoffs (tho she will be irrelevant in Houses With Teeth most likely).

SPLINTERED (book 5 - YA?????)

The genre and category of this book are impossible to define. We continue almost where we left off in book four, and this book is pretty unremarkable in terms of events lol. The squad remains the same, except toward the end, we’re introduced to Darren, a dude from California who hears about Lonan’s *elite government squad* (before the government disowned him) and hopes they can help him locate his missing brother (tho he don’t reveal this until book six).

This book is mostly about Lonan’s declining mental health that still has not gotten better. Some hints of Lonan and Harrison’s relationship getting closer are also dropped in this book.

REWIRED (book 6 - Adult (???) literary fiction sometimes???)

The category of this book is bizarre. It begins as weirdly maybe almost YA, but dips into adult literary fiction at some points. This book is where I really grasped my style and so the genre and category reflect that transition.

What you need to know about Rewired is the progression of Darren and Reeve’s relationship as it goes from acquaintances to PALS to MORE THAN PALS to I don’t! want to be! your! pal! This book is so weird and disjointed because of this transition away from YA dystopian and into adult literary fiction. We also get even more Lonan and Harrison relationship development as Reeve meddles her way into business that is not hers!

MOTH WORK (spinoff - no categories anymore I have no idea)

The most recent Fostered book! We finally get to see Lonan and Harrison’s relationship on the page and oh boy! Is there tea! As Lonan struggles to grasp trauma from childhood, and Harrison struggles to help him, their relationship goes to places it ain’t never been before! This eventually leads to a much needed separation where Lonan explores a new relationship with Eliza (his father’s ex oooooof) and Harrison figures out what he needs in order to live a healthier, happier life. MW is a bridge between book six and seven.

HOUSES WITH TEETH (book 7 - adult literary fiction *I’m hoping*)

I have yet to write this book, but we’re back in Reeve’s head! Here’s a synopsis I’ve shared before:

After escaping a toxic relationship, twenty-year-old Reeve disappears for the second time in one year. She’s drawn to Wicker, a mealy town outside New York City, whose disappearances of affluent girls has caught her attention. The day she arrives, a sinkhole buries one of them in the front yard of her new home, a fixer-upper she shares with estranged friend, Foster. Quickly she falls prey to speculation by herself and others, who try to connect her to the tragedy. And even stranger, false recognitions as the girl in the ground, and the many other missing Wicker girls make her feel more and more like one of them–these alluring, unknown women.

This book is very much my vibe now as a writer, however, it’s been difficult to re-integrate back into Reeve’s head with all Fostered’s dystopian elements removed! I don’t have much else to share about this book since I know so little about it, but it is essentially my current project.

So I hope that was helpful! There’s a lot of unexplored territory that I worry might be impossible to get into because I legitimately do not remember a lot @sarahkelsiwrites calls me a fake fan lol (I genuinely am), but if y’all ever want to know more, I am 100% down to share whatever! This was also a lot of info so if y’all have questions, send ‘em in!

Enjoy this abridged version of Fostered!

–Rachel

#fostered #amwriting #writeblr #writerblr

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notwhoiwanttobeyet · 4 years ago

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tumblr journal [1]

NOTE: hi pLeasE don’t read this. this is just a way of coping with my mental illnesses. this is completely unedited, highly personal and i stRonGLy advise you look away. i hope you’re having a good day! happy holidays :)

also don’t mind the spotify links along the way; just some songs i almost or did cry to while writing this

tw: suicidal thoughts, anxiety attacks, (breast) cancer

hey tumblr,

it’s been a while since i’ve really vented. a lot of us use tumblr as a copying mechanism (me included) and i think it’s important i evaluate my current situation and break things down.

https://open.spotify.com/track/1WVunZLZM2zLTm5rAvKZkF?si=a94u_JAsRX2VCWOD6z4l-Q

exam season is over; i’m on summer break. and that’s great. no more school. no more exams and assignments and testing and all that FUCKING BULLSHIT THAT THE SYSTEM PUTS US THROUGH. i’m sorry, i’m trying to stay calm but it’s so fuckiNg hard. i’m literally going to cry i- so yeah, as we know, towards the end of the year school fucked me over and i really, reaLLY, REALLY wanted to die. so when school finished i was like “oh i must be all good now, right?” but i wasn’t. i was left feeling so numb, to be completely honest (and cliche).

then i got sick which was soooo fucked. apparently a lot of people who went to our small friend kris kringle gathering got sick which sucks but because i spent so much of this year in isolation, i forgot what it felt like to be sick and oh bOY it fucking sucked. i over exaggerated because i’m sensitive and wanted to die. i was sick for like a week and my parents quarantined me because my mum is recovering from a breast cancer surgery and couldn’t afford to get sick so i was like locked in my room- on my own- which yeah, i do anyway but this felt sooo different. this felt like, completely fuckEd because my parents were wearing masks around the house and would leave food in my doorway, etc. i felt like a complete MONSTER to the people i love. i also obviously couldn’t hug them or anything, leaving me touch starved and ugh- it just wasn’t a great experience.

also my mum is recovering fine and stuff but it’s an emotional fucking time for everyone and i’m so stupid i haven’t told anyone about my mum being sick and all. like people don’t ask why i’m acting up because i’m ALWAYS acting up. i’m always sensitive and angry and having mood swings. that’s just me, being mentally ill. so no one asks why i’m worried. my mum has/had BREAST CANCER- brooo. she’s had one surgery which went well and will most likely have to have chemo and/or radiation in the coming year. we get the results back after christmas. so that’s a thing.

i have a secure group of friends which i’ve always wanted, but it doesn’t feel right. it never feels right. like today the three of us went shopping and THEY WENT CRAZY- i was so stressed and had literally like 6 different mental breakdowns in the 2 hours we were out. they were bumping into people, running around, trying on every item of clothing ironically in every store. that shit stresses me out. and there’s nothing wrong with that- they’re good people and they’re not doing anything wrong really - it’s just normal teenage stuff. but i’m note normal, i’m super anxious and everyone was looking at us and it made me sooo uncomfortable. like- i could elaborate more but thinking about it hurts. i felt like i was their mum or something, shepherding them around and making sure they didn’t break anything else. they- UGH// they broke a perfume bottle and rudely ran away from a teacher i have a good reputation with. like i said, they’re just normal teenagers but it fucks me up. it’s not them, it’s me. on the bright side i saw this same lesbian couple i saw the other day again :) i never see wlw or mlm couples in public really so it makes me soo happy when i see them :) i also saw this girl in an unnus annus hoodie and i was gonna say something but i’m too *anxious* so i just stared at her until she looked at me weirdly and i ran out of the store. oH and there was a girl in an mcr shirt ahh-- she was really pretty but i was too busy running it was a whole thing like my mum was coming to pick me up and i had 10 minutes so i ran up from one end of the mall to the other and then upstairs to this store to but this fucking wonderwomen shirt and then i had to run all the way back and i’m not the most athletic to say the least and i wanted to CRY but yeah. what did i learn today? people aren’t for me. friends aren’t for me. and again i know i’m built to be alone.

https://open.spotify.com/track/7wTqEW5nrMhvyEhEyTnOMd?si=ata2BwOPQji3twov9wTZWg

i’m really thirsty. ew not like tha- i fucking hate society

cinnamon rolls not gender rolls. wait my friend got that on a poster let me see if i can find it,,,

yeah here it is ^^^^

also: my hair. i’m so happy having it the length it is but mAn i just- i just- i hate myself lol. like i don’t know what else to say. i think i’m ugly and every time i look in the mirror i want to cry, and it’s going to be like that forever so i need to just except that. i am ugly, i hate myself. like- bro come on. it’s been like this forever and it’s going to continue to be like this forever so i need to stop fucking crying over it.

https://open.spotify.com/track/05JtBVWRtSzqLoj7jj30kn?si=30W4pt7dT8G3cbzaUMqldw

oh my god this song i’m about to cry. this is what i want. why can’t i just be- not me!!!

these past few days i’ve literally been playing minecraft bed wars all day. like all day. and it was okay but now my eyes hurt and my head hurts and my hands hurt and i hate myself and everything hurts.

also- music doesn’t feel right. it’s been like this for a while now, it’s getting better though. before i couldn’t listen to any music at all - now i’ve been listening to kid krow on repeat : )

god bless you, conan. my number one song currently is *cough* E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY LIFE (which they are btw) which is- fucking terrifying and funny at the same time. i genuinely like CORPSE though- i’ve watched every among us stream and i love his songs- in the past i would have considered myself a simp (?) maybe (?) but i had a nightmare about it and i can’t awifjisenf simp no more. i still appreciate him, i just- had an awakening.

sexuality crises also suck a whole bunch. there was a 1-2 day phase a few weeks ago where i was low key PRAYING to be a lesbian lmfao. like it sounds stupid but i was crying over that shit. background info: no i’m not one of those straight girls, i’m a bisexual female who’s almost a full on raging homosexual except i am attracted to men. and i wish i wasn’t, believe me when i say that. but i have realised i am bi so it’s okay. i thought i was a lesbian and awilfjnawr labels but no, i am slightly attracted to men sometimes. but to answer your question if i am lucky enough my future wife and i will be married and living in a cottage.

ugh. life. bru h i’m actually a train wreck- i had an anxiety attack crying trying to find my childhood tinkerbelle and friends dolls the other night. and then to make matters worse, i found them in a box with a whole bunch of other dolls in the same box including StRawBerrY ShoRtCaKe doLLs and i smelt my stawberry shortcake doll hesitantly while crying and she still smelled like her strawberry scent and i was DEAD.

https://open.spotify.com/track/1F6IbA7di42uPc3cff8PXV?si=COKcG_UbQh-GhKYJ5vtIgg

ugh. so this has been my update so far. oh wait-

christmas. holy shit how is it christmas. i want dEatH like. reasons why i’m sad for christmas: it doesn’t feel like christmas so i feel like i’m not going to enjoy it, i’ve had no motivation to clean my room so the contents of my wardrobe is all over my floor because i was mid resorting the drawers when i got sick, i’ve wanted to ask for doc martens and my chemicals romance + other artists’ merch all year but i have SEVERE ANXIETY so of course i didn’t and now my parents have gone and bought me a new phone or something which of course i’m grateful for but my iphone 6s works just fine. it’s a waste of money which we need at the moment but because i’m too anxious i didn’t ask for anything this year so my parents have just chosen to spoil me and- aW SHIT! i can’t=

anyway so that’s my bullcrap life. i mean my bullshit rant. am i glad i did this? yes. do i feel any better? kinDa? i don’t know okay. what am i going to do now? i don’t know. probably lie on the floor and drown in self pity in hopes of melting into the abyss. i might read my book which i’ve yet to finish. maybe reading can be my knew things, seeing as i have zero hobbies. i read like once in a blue moon.

this is it for now, good luck, future me.

sincerely,

jordan ♡

https://open.spotify.com/track/7B3z0ySL9Rr0XvZEAjWZzM?si=HyWPKutjRTuPumafim7_Vw

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